Sunday, May 29, 2005

Undermining the dragon's layer of impunity

Make it one for my baby, and one more for the road...
Inebriation is an interesting phenomenon.

Lastnight I put in an appearance at yet another 18th birthday party. Unlike the previous non-boozey get-down, the turps was freely flowing left, right, and left-of-centre. And thus, so it was, Binnsy proceeded to become utterly and unconsequently hammered. (NB: The word 'unconsequently' was incorrectly used in the prior sentence, but I don't really give a damn. Come to think of it, I don't even think 'unconsequently' is a word.)

Now, I remember a fair bit of lastnight, which is quite remarkable given the earth-shattering nature of the headache I had when I was awoken at approximately 6:15 this morning. It's interesting: I remember the parts I wanted to remember, the events I told myself I would be able to recall. Other occurrences infuriatingly elude me; they take the form mainly of fragments of audio and visuals, like a postmodernist adaptation of a Scandinavian adult arthouse flick.

This morning was an interesting experience. I awoke, as aforementioned, at around 6:15am. A bunch of us stayed the night at the birthday person's house (in the stables, in fact), in order to avoid being upfront drunk when our folks came to pick us up. I attempt to justify this by saying that I wouldn't want to make my folks pick me up at around 11pm when they would be either in bed or almost reaching the climactic final scenes of A Touch of Frost. But the real reason still ends up being that I was avoiding appearing openly inebriated in front of my non-drinking elders. So when we woke up, we basically sat around the embers of the fire-in-a-barrel, vaguely nodding acknowledgement as each of us rose from a patchy slumber. Some just couldn't handle it and slept where they sat this morning. Some awoke to find themselves in quite odd positions, such as resting their head next to the rear tyre of a Ford F250. Some, like myself, hardly slept, then wandered vacantly to the fire, awaiting the arrival of coffee or food: either would have been good.

On the whole, an enlightening evening. The first time I got drunk was probably New Year's this year. That was a little over the top, given my technicolour yodel onto the sand under the pier - not a good thing to have a crystal clear memory of. This time I was a little more under control, and thankfully kept the booze down.

But what is it that makes countless people go back to do it every weekend? Even though they know that Sunday morning will be hell. Like I said: Inebriation - a wide, varied, diverse, questionable yet not-on-the-whole-unpleasant experience.

Doctor Who, Episode 2: The End of the World
In my semi-aware state this morning (late morning, and back home, so most of the shadiness had worn off, thank Christ), I watched the second episode of Doctor Who, that I taped from lastnight.

It never ceases to amaze me how modern TV screenwriters want to tap into peoples' emotions. It further amazes me when such psychological archaeology actually works. Doctor Who cried! (Crowd: Aaawwwww.) Russell T. Davies has done an awesome job in giving this Doctor an edge that many of the previous ones lacked. As much of a devotee to traditionalism as I am, it's good to see a TV icon like the Doctor tailored to a more emotionally receptive 21st-century audience.

This episode was a good blend of a linear yet heavily-embellished story thread, with a good rounding-off at the end. Rose and the Doctor's relationship got good mileage, and was extrapolated well. That priceless British humour came through brilliantly, and Christopher Eccleston delivers the one-liners with metronomic timing. This episode was also very poignant and brought across the harsh reality of the world in which the Doctor lives, and it was good to see Rose again given the choice to back out. In the older episodes it seemed unrealistic that a bimbo earthling would blindly follow an alien into intergalactic warzones, but here we clearly see that Rose is given a choice, and is aware of the dangers when she makes her decision.

An awesome episode - can't wait for next week!

Until next time...

Saturday, May 28, 2005

Textures of turtle pigeons creeping into the bathtime

Oh, God...
I, Dan William Morrison Binns, today succumbed whole-heartedly to mindless capitalism, blind collective social trends and the torrent of adolescent fashion that threatens constantly to sweep up unsuspecting teenagers. I am ashamed. Today I bought my first angst shirt.

What is an angst shirt, you may well ask? Basically it's me and a mate's name for those shirts that look as though they've been attacked by an enraged, crayon-wielding, slightly-politically-minded three-year-old. You know the ones. They're all the rage these days, literally. Well, today I bought one, with matching cargo pants (the pants actually look pretty good). Damn my attachment to the collective subconscious. Mindless minions subservient to brand names, flashy advertisements and false prophets of the apocalypse like Andie MacDowell and Chloe Maxwell...

"And the people bowed and prayed
To the neon god they made
And the sign flashed out its warning
In the words that it was forming
And the sign said 'The words of the
Prophets are written on the
Subway walls, and tenement halls
In the sounds of silence...

What a capitalists' fantasy this world has become. And what a gullible dweeb I am for having now been swept up along with it...

Until next time...

Le musique du baton et le randome

NB: The title is not real or authorised French.

Cheers to Tim from Sterne who chucked me the Musical Baton.

I really have no idea why or wherefore, but hey, I'll go with it (and sorry I'm a bit late!).

Total volume of music files on my computer:
1500 (includes MIDIs and MP3s)

Song playing right now:
Landed - Ben Folds (Songs for Silverman)

Five songs I listen to a lot, or that mean a lot to me:
Bohemian Rhapsody - Queen (Greatest Hits I)
America - Simon & Garfunkel (The Essential S&G)
Misunderstood - Robbie Williams (Greatest Hits)
Four Seasons In One Day - Crowded House (Recurring Dream)
Falling Away With You - Muse (Absolution)

Three people I'm throwing the baton to:
MrLefty
Flashman
Brownie

Until next time...

Friday, May 27, 2005

Step back and take in the enormity of the ramification

Schapelle - the verdict
Like most Australians at the moment, I am stunned. The events of the past 12 hours have been surreal and, for the most part, extremely humbling.

I remember sitting in my lounge room last year, watching that very first 60 Minutes story with my family. This unknown Queenslander, a beauty student, sat in an Indonesian prison cell, silently swaying back and forth. Realising and contemplating the gravity of the entire situation in hindsight, I find it difficult to imagine what must have been going through Schapelle Corby's head in that first month.

In the ensuing days, weeks, months, one thing kept annoying me: the fact that days, weeks, months were going by, without so much as a peep from anybody. Then in April, the trial began. Even that was drawn out. And once that was over, we had to wait another two to three weeks for a verdict... And then when that finally rolled around, we had to wait for two and a half bloody hours while the bloody thing was read out and translated!

Futility pervaded everything. Whether you were in support or were against her, the only solid piece of evidence either way was the pillowcase-sized bag full of marijuana in Schapelle's bodyboard bag.

But then it culminated in two and a half hours today in a sweltering Indonesian courtroom. As Mum dropped me off at school this morning, I heard as I shut the door: 'Pray for Schapelle.' I can only imagine the thousands of prayers today wafting up to whereever prayers waft up to, with 'Innocence for Schapelle' scrawled on their metaphysical message line.

And now she has been found guilty. And the ashes of all those prayers come falling gently back down to earth, tossing and looping gently in the warm breeze from the South East Asian sky. Damn a justice system geared to trap tourists. Damn the omitting of evidence. Damn all those who try and suppress innocent and unsuspecting victims. Damn all those who stood against Schapelle Corby. I hope you live with the mistake you've made for the rest of your lives, and I hope you feel the pressure of millions of peace-loving Australians on your shoulders. Christ have mercy.

Graham Kennedy - R.I.P.
Due to other commitments I wasn't able to write at length about Graham Kennedy; I in fact wasn't able to write at all. Which, for me, is not enough. It is not a worthy tribute for someone who has made me smile, laugh, cry, question and think on countless occasions.

I am the first to admit that I was not around in the 'Kennedy era'. I was not even a twinkle in my mother's eye (she was about 10!) when the King was parading around the televisions of Australia on IMT. My first experience of the genius of Graham Kennedy was the first screening of the Graham Kennedy - King of Television special in early 2000. Unlike the truncated version that Channel 9 aired tonight in Kennedy's honour, this two hour special followed the career of Graham and showed fantastic remastered archival footage of all his old gags and some of his very best work. I don't think I've laughed so much in my life.

Graham Kennedy was and will remain forever an Australian icon. In the world of art, we have idols like the great Frederick McCubbin and Tom Roberts. We have the likes of Banjo Patterson and Bryce Courtenay to furnish the halls of literature with beautiful words. But in television, there can be only one. God rest the soul of the King, Graham Kennedy. Long live his soul, and God bless forever. You always tried to stay out of the public eye. Now you are where no eye can seek you out. Rest in peace.

My literary horizons continue to broaden...
Today I finished reading two of the most incredible pieces of literature ever written since mankind invented the chisel and thought to etch things in flat rocks.

Firstly, there was Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Dead, written by Czech playwright Tom Stoppard. 'Set in the wings of Hamlet...' is how most commentaries on R&G start. For mine, I loved how we are left feeling exactly the same way Ros & Guil are throughout the play. You put it down after reading the last section and are struck with the overwhelming desire to scream at the top of your voice: 'WHAT THE FUUUUUUUUCK?!'

But at the risk of looking ridiculous, you compose yourself and move on with your life...

The other play I read today is David Williamson's The Club. It's amazing how quickly you go through a book if you're not stopping every five lines to analyse everything. I picked up Williamson's finest work for fifty cents at the fete last Saturday, and it took me an hour and a half to get through it this afternoon.

The Club reminded me why I love Aussie Rules so much. I can sympathise with the traditionalists in the play, like Jock and Laurie. They see footy for what it really should be: a sport of champions. Money doesn't matter. Boardroom power struggles play diddly-squat compared to the magic that happens every weekend as thirty odd men run out onto fresh turf and boot a leather ball around the field.

The monologues in the play are so moving: 'I played two hundred and eighty-two games for this Club and every time I ran onto the ground I felt as honoured to be out there wearing the Club colours as I did the first time...Look at those pictures on the wall; Great names from a great club and you've got the honour of the tradition they created resting right there in your hands.'

Oh! To be able to play one of these roles! Incidentally, and not without a tinge of freakiness, I bought this play on Saturday, and on Wednesday, one of the stars of the film adaptation dies; Graham Kennedy played Ted in Bruce Beresford's 1980 production of The Club. When I first saw that movie, it was just about the time I started returning to my roots, starting to long to be back in Melbourne; tears swelled in my eyes and a lump in my throat threatened to choke me during Graham Kennedy's monologue to Jack Thompson: 'I sat here, yes, right here I sat...' And that moment shortly after when Ted is sacked....sniff sniff. What a great game, what a great play.

Speaking of Aussie Rules, carn the Mighty Dees! Tonight downing Richmond by about 57 points! It's a grand old flag...

Until next time...

Thursday, May 26, 2005

Grapevines sense the apostasy and adjust their postulations accordingly

Maths Test
Overall, not bad. I know I got a few things wrong, but I kept working through them to show that I knew what to do, even with wrong answers! Not to worry. All should be sweet.

Extension II: Livin' La Viva Voce
Not all that bad! Not bad at all! A nice, leisurely chat with my English teacher, who nodded a lot, which I thought was good. I think. I was still nervous though. Which is okay I guess. I'm glad it's out of the way, though.

And to the Extension folks, who would've thought to use bloody Frankenstein!! Guess what I'm using for related material now! MOWHAHAHAHAH. A year's worth of notes is being dusted off as we speak!

Corby - a nation waits...
Schapelle Corby sits today in a Bali jail cell awaiting tomorrow, when her dreams will be fulfilled, or her greatest fear realised. Your country is behind you, and my prayers with you, Schapelle. God bless, whatever the verdict.

Television storylines - what's the catch?
What is the key? Is there one definitive tool that television screenwriters use to hook viewers and keep them waiting in suspense until the next episode? What has caused Binnsy to ask such questions?

In the Viva Voce today I was asked how the medium I chose (short story) has restricted or helped develop my idea. And I got to thinking, in what way would the medium of television series do the same things?

Let's break down the medium. Your basic primetime TV series consists of twenty-four 40-50 minute episodes. This will be screened in about four to five segments each of around 10-15 minutes, split up by ad breaks of around 2-3 minutes in length. (You've never really looked at Law & Order this technically, have you?) In the first segment, you'll usually have a teaser sequence, followed by titles/theme, then a short opening chapter. For an X-Files episode, for example, you'll have footage of the discovery of a crashed UFO with mixed public reactions, then the title sequence, then we'll see what Mulder and Scully are up to when they get the call to action. Then there's an ad break.

In summary, the first segment consists of: teaser, titles, opening chapter. The second segment could be a continuing chapter, like Mulder and Scully arriving on the scene and assessing the situation at the crash site. They'll look around, meet some witnesses and then Mulder will find a hand sticking out of the hatch. Boom. Another ad break. Segment three? Repeat, with a different build-up and cliffhanger. The whole series of segments is a big build-up to a climactic cliffhanger, leaving the audience feeling dazed and unsatisfied, but hungry to find out what happens in the next episode.

The basely human desire for satisfaction is what screenwriters prey on. Audiences simply must know what happens next. This is the reason for the success of such shows as 24, Lost and Revelations.

'Twould be interesting to see what I could do if given a couple of million bucks to develop a TV series. Very interesting indeed.

On closing, isn't Derryn Hinch the kind of man you want to shoot and hug at the same time? Shoot him for being an absolute assfuck, and then hug him for being the only journalist capable of blatant honesty in times of shameless mistruths and misleading propaganda...

Until next time...

Wednesday, May 25, 2005

Again, too stunned for randomology


R.I.P. Graham Kennedy
Undisputed King of Australian Television

Until next time...

Tuesday, May 24, 2005

The mutiny is part of our rectory functionality

Surprisingly, I don't have much to blog about at present. But I'm sure as I continue to type I'll think of something. Let's start with what's happening over the next few days.

Maths Topic Test: Series & Sequences
This is a little pain in the ass - a non-assessment task. But I still feel as though I'm sitting a major exam when I do one. The last one I did I got 50 out of 60, though so hey, who knows what might happen tomorrow in Period 5.

Series and Sequences is one of the many topics in the HSC "Mathematics" course (the equivalent of the old 2 Unit HSC course, or Victoria's Maths Methods) that has almost no realistic relevance to everyday Australians. It certainly matters crap all to a journalist (hopefully my future vocation). However, having chosen Maths as one of my UAI subjects, I have to kick ass in it otherwise I'm screwed.

Extension II English Viva Voce
On Thursday afternoon I have to sit down and be interrogated interviewed about my Extension II piece. I know two of the regular visitors to this blog also must go through this terrifying experience.

It's interesting. Up until the lead-up to this Assessment Task, I haven't really thought much about the story. I handed in my Second Draft a few weeks back, and have just been focusing on my other subjects. Now, for once, I'm really conscious of my story and how it will be received, even though my teachers tell me it's pretty good.

Ah well, I guess we'll see.

Rau: To believe or not to believe
I'm a pretty compassionate person. I have enormous sympathy for Schapelle Corby; guilty or innocent, she's been through a hell of a time. I feel for all those who have been wrongfully detained in Australia. However, it's time for me to dig in and lay down my case and my thoughts on the Cornelia Rau case.

First and foremost, and perhaps on an almost unrelated matter, the Australian Immigration Department is pathetic. I can understand the reasons behind the Howard Government's complete rejection of illegal immigrants. What I don't get, however, is their complete ignorance of those who have slipped through the system. Everyone makes mistakes. There are loopholes in every system: no setup is foolproof.

Take the completely fabricated case of one John W. Dopplermeister, a German pianist with a wooden leg and a poodle for a pet, who was shipped to Australia in 1966 on a fishing trawler from South Africa. John had no passport, no money, no contacts down under, but because he was with this fishing crew, no one asked questions when he disembarked in Fremantle. He found a job, married an Austrian lady and settled down to have a family. When John turned 58, some blokes from Immigration showed up at his door and took him away from his family, and shoved him in Baxter Detention Centre.

Whilst in Baxter, John suffered two strokes and was pronounced clinically dead no less than four times. When his family appealed for his release after his second stroke, the only response they received was that 'John must remain in prison to learn his lesson.' After a public appeal, John was released. He was 76 and was mentally retarded. He died three months later.

NB: The above story is fictitious, and was conceived by Dan Binns. Any similarity to any person is coincidental. However, any similarity to any current case or event is certainly not coincidental.

The fact is, things like the above fabrication are happening all the time. There are hundreds of Australians who have slipped through the government's fingers. Surely if they've inadvertently found a hole in the system, they should be looked after. Okay, if they deliberately set out to find a loophole, they should be processed, but those who had no idea they were committing a felony should at least be given lighter punishments.

So that little spiel is out of the road. Here's the next bit: I have very little sympathy for Cornelia Rau. She claims she has never been treated so unfairly in her life as she was whilst in the custody of the Australian government. However, what I would like to know is why she was diagnosed as mentally ill and why she claimed to speak only German. Find the answers to those questions, and why those situations have been so radically altered, and you will be closer to finding the answers to why Rau was detained.

Until next time...

Monday, May 23, 2005

Great things happen to people with indiscretion and a lot of chokoes

Doctor Who
Perhaps I'm sad. Perhaps I'm a sucker for hype. Perhaps I really am just a hardcore nerd at heart. But even though I was out at a party on Saturday night, come 7:30pm, my VCR lit up and started taping the first episode of the new series of Doctor Who.

First impressions: Brilliant. It is so very British - the whole combination of tongue-in-cheek humour, minimal action used to good effect and so very Doctor Who-ish right down to the dodgy costumes and my personal favourite inclusion of the old 1950's police box.

This episode was both a nostalgic look back for fans of old and a good introduction for the new generation. It explained most of the basic principles of the show in such a way that we're able to move forward with a new plot but the show also retains a sort of ambiguity that's appealing and annoying at the same time. Don't worry though, I'll be tuning in next week...

Bebo Quiz
For those of you who could be stuffed, you can take a quiz to see how well you know me over at Bebo...click here. Warning, though: once you do the quiz you'll have to sign up for Bebo. Shameless advertising at its best. Look on the bright side, though: Once you sign up you'll never get one of those annoying "I am updating my address book emails".

A look into the horizon...
Sorry for the lack of decent updates lately. I've been quite busy these past few days and I still have craploads of stuff to do. I've got a Maths test on Wednesday and on Thursday it's my Viva Voce, one of the major assessments for Extension II English. It's all coming to a head and in five months time I'll be preparing for three weeks worth of HSC exams. It's scaring the hell out of me, it really is. However, as I've been told by so many people over the past 12 months, it's just one phase of my life. For the first time I actually know what I want to do: I want to write. It's what sustains me. Whether I finish what I'm writing or not, what I feel when I'm seeing my words appear on a computer screen is indescribable. So even if I fail my HSC miserably, I know there's an out somewhere - a path to writing glory: and I'll find it, don't worry.

Until next time...

Saturday, May 21, 2005

Society is biased towards the fortunes and virtuitousness of the labeled hamster

It hath been a while since last did I post. Here's a basic rundown of the things I've been up to over the past three days.

Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith
On Wednesday night at about 10pm me and a mate rocked up at Hoyts and hung about waiting for the cinemas to open up. Absolute craploads of people. Toddlers in clone-trooper and Chewbacca costumes, Darth Vader poking Obi-Wan's eye out with a plastic lightsabre (and here's the good bit) and then apologising after a telling-off by his father. Hilarious. But then, come 11:10pm, the cinemas were opened and thousands of crazed people ran up the stairs and into the cinemas.

12am May 19: the lights go down, the curtain opens.............................. and we are subjected to 30 minutes worth of trailers and commercials. AND THEN... The crowd rustles as the 20th Century Fox fanfare starts rolling, the Lucasfilm logo, 'A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away...', BOOM! THEME! CRAWL! STRAIGHT INTO A SPACE BATTLE OMFGJDHJKSHJKSHSJKHSJK!!!!11211!!111.

Overall, the film was pretty bloody good. I hated Episode I (it had its moments, but overall, terrible effort by Monsieur Lucas), liked Episode II better, but Episode III more than made up for the failings of the two most recent instalments.

I'll post a more indepth review later...

Young Vinnies Winter Sleepout
Lastnight me and a bunch of about 9 kids from school slept outside at school as part of the St Vincent De Paul Winter Appeal. We're all members of the Young Vinnies Group at school, of which I'm treasurer, and it was a good chance for us to get to know each other and form some plans for the year ahead, as well as getting some sort of an idea of what it's like for thousands of Aussies less fortunate than us.

Apparently at around 2am the temperature got down to about -2°C, but my sleeping bag was pretty warm. That said, it was still bloody cold, and I hate to think what it'd be like to sleep in it night after night with no food in your stomach. I feel so much for all who have to endure this, and hope that in some small way our group can make a difference.

School fete
After waking up on wet concrete at 6:50am this morning, I had to get up and start getting things organised for my high school's annual fete. I reckon school fetes are awesome, regardless of whether it's your school or not. But it's always great if you know lots of people and really get involved. I was there to answer questions about the Vinnies group and help out with Student Council business, but I also got roped into setting up cake and craft stalls, advertising an environmental awareness group and eating food (this was more voluntary than being forced into).

I also managed to spend about $5 on books (woo) - all 13 of them! Including stuff by Thomas Hardy, Jules Verne, Edgar Allan Poe, Clive James, Jerry Seinfeld, Spike Milligan and a ripper dictionary which has shorthand explanations as well (I would have paid $10 just for the dictionary!). All in all, a profitable day.

Tonight I'm off to a mate's 18th and will pretend to be drunk (no alcohol for religious reasons, which I'm cool with - pretending is fun!).

Meantime, I'm off to catch 2 hours shut-eye...

Until next time...

Wednesday, May 18, 2005

Great things await the nitpickers and the right-left people

Anticipation builds, excites, envelopes...
For a Star Wars fan, the release (or re-re-re-release) of a film of the franchise is an exciting experience.

You go through several phases in the leadup to the movie. You go through doubt (will it be any good?), excitement (dood omfg i cAn't fuXorZ waIt shit wtf!!!11!!!), angst (damn, why isn't it out yet?), uncertainty (uh oh, I may not be able to cope), fear (dear God, Darth Vader)... the list goes on. Like being a Melbourne Demons fan, being a follower of the Star Wars series is a heart-wrenching part of life.

Whether or not you're a fan of the series, I beg all people to have respect for the Star Wars fan that may be a colleague, friend, family member. The one that's always whimpering in the corner, or having imaginary lightsabre battles with the couch, or trying as hard as they possibly can to Force-choke the dog. Trust me when I say leave them be. The consequences of interrupting this inevitability of Star Wars fandom (the whimpering, Force use, etc) could be fatal.

If you're awake, think of me at 12:01am tomorrow morning when I'll be sitting in the cinema, almost orgasmically anticipating that escaping title plate and that glorious opening crawl...

School prayer
Being a Catholic institution, every day at around 11:40am, my school stops everything to listen to a short reflection over the PA system. It's a good thing, I think, and I participate willingly, trying to get in the spirit of things.

A lot of the time, the prayers or reflections are short and to-the-point, sometimes a little longer (on special days like Ash Wednesday or something), but they always make you think about something, if you're willing to listen.

But occasionally a prayer comes along that totally throws you or makes you smirk or laugh uncontrollably. Some reflections affect my witty or cynical side, and Monday's was one of these. It was only three words but it made me laugh. The narrator was asking God to 'enflame our apathy'. I think the intended meaning of this was 'get rid of our carelessness of your almightiness', but unfortunately the cynic in me heard it as 'make us apathetic'. I know, sad, but hey, I'm a proud Christian and I should be allowed to laugh at the Church's expense every now and again; I know that come Sunday, I'll be back at Church taking Communion and doing all the stuff normal Christians do. I just never take things too seriously...

Corby v. the worm...dear God
Damn mobile phones to hell. Without them I think the world would be a better place for many reasons - not the least of which would be the need of reality television show producers to find an alternate way for audiences to participate in the culling of contestants.

But the thing that really pisses me off, is that fact that now, some night this week (tonight, perchance?), Channel 9 is running a show based on the Schapelle Corby case that will allow viewers to SMS their opinions on the case. Guilty or innocent, Australia? It's TRIAL BY SMS!!! Soon the courts will be obsolete in favour of a room of telephone canvassers. And the Howard government will love it - more jobs for those disabled people and single mothers! Hooray!

The way the world's going, dear God...

Will blog the official Star Wars review tomorrow!

Until next time...

Tuesday, May 17, 2005

Thar be wenches, fresh fruit and a home for your donkey...yarr!

Binnsy's Average Visitor - The Verdict
This is the official results post of the other day's 'comments game', the idea being to find a cross-section of my blog readers and their personalities by asking them to let me know what surrounded their workspace, computer or whereever they were at the time.

There were some interesting results, some of which I included because they were common among readers, others because they were cool and I wanted one (damn you Modi and Miss P for having graphics tablets, and Miss P for having a Moleskine - you must surrender them immediately or face the consequences of several of my angry midget minions coming for you...MWHOAHAHAHAHAH).

But without further ado, here is...

The average Binnsy's Hovel occupant
He or she obviously has a computer, with a myriad of accessories and peripherals, including, but not limited to, a Dolby Digital 5.1 surround sound system, gel mouse pads, graphics tablets, iPod docks, eMacs, flash memories (these aren't always operational) and perhaps, for the exhibitionist in him or her, a webcam. He or she is extremely intelligent, with a number of literary reference pieces (some a little more obscure than others) and benchmark works including Bernstein, Rosseau, and Nietzsche. He or she has an occasional interest in aviation, personals and inflicting grievous bodily harm to loved ones. Our inhabitant has a penchant for gummi bears, Midori splices, VB and the occasional rollo. He or she almost certainly wears glasses, likes Star Wars, is up with current affairs and enjoys cult or foreign movies. He or she has illegally copied the odd PC game or music CD, writes highly interesting and perceptive political thesises, enjoys compiling their own curriculum vitae and decorates their desk with frogs and assorted body parts. All in all, a highly perceptive and intelligent being, the typical inhabitant of Binnsy's Hovel is a regular visitor, enjoys what they find there and goes off into the world enlightened and inspired to make it a better place.

Cool, eh? Ah, fun fun. I think I covered everyone. If you're really annoyed about something I mentioned or you're pissed that I didn't include you, sod off! You're so bloody hard to satisfy! email me and I'll respond with a delightfully evil essay on why you should die very polite apology and a promise of swift retribution upon you and your family correction of the error.

Chrenkoff on Media Watch - again
Disgruntled blogger Arthur Chrenkoff appeared again on the ABC's Media Watch lastnight, this time in a follow-up piece centred around the credibility of blogging as opposed to journalism (transcript here).

I loved how MW used an audio snippet of a speech by Rupert Murdoch to support journalism over blogging. Brilliant stuff. Have MW ever read the Herald Sun or the Telegraph?

Admittedly old Rupe did make a good point in reference to bloggers (or, as he says in that not-quite-Aussie-and-not-quite-Yank accent, blah-gurrs):

...[Bloggers] may ... serve a valuable purpose; broadening our coverage of the news; giving us new and fresh perspectives to issues; deepening our relationship to the communities we serve...

Something I've blogged about before, and will continue to blog about for a long time yet in my endorsement of blogging (this is from the part of me that reads blogs, not the bit that writes one!). As Antony Loewenstein wrote, 'Blogging is the future. Believe it.'

Look at those buns
On closing, this. Crazy Hong Kong people scaling towers to fill a bumbag with as many sweet rolls as possible. MHWHOAHAOAHAHAH. Hilarious.

Until next time...

Enflame our apathy, sons of Uzbekistani fish wranglers!

UPDATE at 12:22pm
HAPPY BIRTHDAY MRLEFTY. Don't do anything I wouldn't do. This includes growing man-boobs and joining the ALP - the glorious party of people with man-boobs. Have a good one, mate.


'It's a numbers game...'
If you'd still like to play the comments game, submissions will be counted until 3PM today AEST (May 17). To see the relevant post, click here.

So now you're all back here and wondering what the hell that game was all about. It's not actually a numbers game, as the title might suggest (I just remembered that from some movie I can't remember the name of and it fit here somehow).

It's a personality test, of sorts. Basically, what I've done is copy and paste everyone's little list into a massive big list with no names, just a big list of random desk items. What I am still in the process of doing now is taking away all signs of branding or corporatisation (for example, 'Wacom Tablet' becomes 'Graphics tablet, 'iPod' becomes 'MP3 Player', etc, etc). Once this is done I'll tally up the numbers of all items. From this I aim to glean a rather glossy and quite hilarious view of the cross-section of my visitors. I'm going to pick random items (the more of an item there is, the more likely it will be picked) and make the 'Ultimate Binnsy's Hovel Visitor Desk' - or something with a better name, but along those general lines. In the end of course the items that are picked is up to my discretion, but hey, it's a bit of fun.

I can't remember where I found this thing now... It was on some random website like 'How to screw with your site visitors' or something. Not that I would ever want to screw with any of you (don't feel bad... it's not you, it's me).

Burke on Denton
A brilliant interview on Enough Rope lastnight with Don Burke (mind you, anything Andrew Denton does is bloody brilliant). He sure as hell stuck it up the Nine blokes and it was interesting to see Burke in that context - out of the garden and 'in the hot seat', as it were. Great stuff.

Random stuff from the past few days...
Over the past few days I've been writing a fair bit; from stories to articles and beyond. The following two headings are some blog-worthy pieces I've written.

A cup of tea for conscience
‘I’d love a cup of tea.’

It is with these five words and one contraction that any admittance of maturity I may at some time have uttered comes crashing down in fits of subservience and an irritating double helping of conscience.

The twenty-first century sees many transformations develop in this bastion of personality, philosophy and preposterousness that I call myself. Where once I looked in the mirror and saw a fledgling toddler, a mere sapling of humanity, I now see a near full-grown man, with stubble on his chin and the creases of stress and life experiences streaking across his face.

One could almost assume that independence and an ability to detach from family would be a given. A luxury, for sure, but a necessary indulgence, given the importance and gravity of this, one’s final year of spoon-fed academia. One descends the stairs to the common area of family business - a lounge room, drawing room, chapel, music hall and dining room at a stroke. One takes his place in a chair, and settles in for a decent hour of nothingness.

It is at this precise moment that those five words and one contraction are expressed with such optimism, presumptuousness and airs of grandeur that one is stricken with nausea, betrayal and fury all at once. To experience these three sensations tearing at each other, dueling for control over one’s mind, is to be subjected to, become privy to, the very foundations of emotional philosophy. But none of nausea, betrayal or fury seize victory - for a fourth emotion triumphs.

This all-conquering phenomenon is a most bewildering sensation. Neither love nor hatred, compassion nor disdain, it fuels the base man to serve others, the evil to righteousness and the rich to charity. Conscience. Represented as a cricket to a wooden marionette, an angel and a demon on opposing shoulders, a gatekeeper.

It is this overpowering feeling that rouses me from my comfort, my indulgence in a small portion of quality time with my elders, and drives me forth to serve them with obedience and love. I’ll admit freely that at times it is painful, nigh infuriating to have to do this, but without fail, each time I do it - each time I succumb to those five words and one contraction - I feel a better person for doing so.

There's always next week
A treatise on Melbourne Demons fandom

(This article was submitted successfully to Demonology.)

Fandom is an odd phenomenon.

It can, at a stroke, enrage, inspire, isolate, abandon and console. Not only is it the thing that continually drives a sports team, movie producer or author to success, stardom and prosperity, it is a fierce patriotism that fuels a cohort of people to spend countless billions of dollars on memorabilia, tickets and groundside snacks.

To be a Melbourne Demons fan is to lay your heart on the table and willingly submit it to the fiercest of agonies and the greatest of euphorias. At once you can be enraged, inspired, isolated, abandoned or consoled. One week you can be riding the high life after a big win; the next you can be drowning your sorrows and praying for mercy from the football gods.

From those who preferred not to engage in the philosophical and emotional extremes of fandom, there came the priceless adage, 'There’s always next week,' which has been uttered sporadically since the September of 1964.

A stoic apathy and very nearly heartless indifference characterises many Melbourne fans. Yet it is not through condescending hatred or a primal rage that this has come about. This partisan negativity has been etched into a psyche by year after year of ups and downs, lost opportunities, misplaced ambitions.

Melbourne fans feel the thud of a football as it hits the ground after a failed mark attempt. Their throats ache daily from the barrage of abuse they hurl for the ignorance of a plainly visible opposition offence. Their feet throb after countless heavy-footed saunters to the train station or the pub after a disappointing final quarter (or a disappointing four quarters).

But there exists for Melbourne followers a definitive advantage. This advantage takes the form of a constant that has survived a century and a half of triumph and tragedy. A sole comfort that has warmed the hearts of Demons and their fans for almost fifty years since the golden years of the mid-twentieth century. What is this comfort, this pervading constant that has stood the test of time, I hear you ask? It takes the form of an adage coined by stoic stalwarts of the Melbourne fan base. It has been vocalised for decades past, and will be uttered for centuries to come. Four words: 'There’s always next week.'

Until next time...

Saturday, May 14, 2005

Greetings to those of hummingbird watchdogs

UPDATES AT BOTTOM OF THIS POST: Last update 2:50pm May 15

YOU! VISITOR! LOOK HERE!
Whether you're just passing through, are a first-timer at the Hovel or you're a regular reader, I have a task for you all. If you visit this blog while this post is at the top, you MUST do this! It is my little game for my readers and passers-by.

Your instructions: You must comment on this post, including a list of most of the items that can be found on your desk or around your computer.

I'll get this baby going:

- 2 coffee cups
- 1 stress ball
- Assorted school papers
- 1 can deodorant
- 1 Mini World Atlas
- 1 Dictionary
- 1 Calculator
- 1 Diary
- 1 Old Mobile Phone
- 15 Random CDs and floppy disks

And that's me done! Your turn. Comment now!

There is a method in this madness, which will be revealed in later posts. Fellow bloggers spread the word - link to this post. Cheers!

Keyword Fun
I've had this new counter installed for a bit over a week, and have gotten about 250 or so visitors (woo!). Seriously, don't you people have anything better to do?

In the midst of all the features of this fandangled counter there's a keyword tracker, which tells me what search terms people have used to find the Hovel. Some of the more interesting ones are:

yuschenko walrus
Righto. I wasn't aware that the Ukrainian president had much to do at all with walruses, but hey - whatever floats your boat.

numerology and indonesians
Ah, that elusive and apocalyptic combination of the ancient art of number-clairvoyance and those elusive people of many islands. I'm interested in knowing how the hell people ended up here at the Hovel from that.

Fortunato's fatal flaw in the cask of amontillado
Good to see my ramblings about revenge tragedy got someone here. Mwhoahaha. Visitors are like fish and keywords are like bait. The random titles I have for my posts must be keyword gold. As for the answer to 'What is Fortunato's fatal flaw?' - his love of wine.

consolation for fs2004
Why would you need consolation for FS2004? It's a perfectly good aeronautical simulation! Alas, it seems FS2006 might be going down the gurgler so there might be some flight simmers who need consolation for that...


UPDATE 2:50pm May 15:
The idea of putting updates here is so that the comments game remains at the top to catch peoples' attention. Smart, eh? Yes, I know. The comments game will remain at the top of the Hovel until 6am Tuesday, when I'll do a mass round-up of the results and post the point of this exercise - not to hold you in suspense or anything, sure you understand!

Here's a random fact: Based on RRP's of generic brand items, the entire monetary value of all items posted as of now (2:50PM May 15) is approximately $14,460!! Anybody fancy a garage sale?! Anyhoo, new visitors keep posting your stuff, and we'll see what happens before 6am Tuesday! I'm also collating random info for a big post (blogging on what I generally blogged on before the comments game fun began) which will be up on Tuesday afternoon.

Until next time...

Friday, May 13, 2005

The solidarity of many South African pygmy quandaries is being underrated

Yes, here I am, posting for the second consecutive time today... The consequence of being stuck at home with nothing but tea, books, the newspaper and the blogosphere for company.

Albrechtchrenkgate rolls on...
Who could have predicted the furore and unending, sometimes hostile rapport of debate, discussion and delirium that Monday night's ABC television programmers unwittingly set in motion?

Blogger Arthur Chrenkoff has come under attack from all sides of the political spectrum due to his unexpected appearance on Media Watch. For my initial response to the story, see this post. Other commentators on the saga are Martin Pike, Tim Dunlop and Tim Blair.

I have stated many times here at the Hovel and in comments on other blogs that I have a certain amount of sympathy for Arthur Chrenkoff. I want to make it clear that my sympathy extends so far as he is a fellow blogger and he was an indirect and unwitting target in an attack directed by the mainstream media. I'll even go so far as to say that I read Chrenkoff's blog on the off-chance that an insight into the rightie way of thinking may be gleaned.

As much as everyone else commenting on the 'Chrenkoff affair' wants to paint him as a self-proclaimed expert on everything from the conflict in Iraq to the ethics of journalism, I personally think the whole thing is rather silly. The report on Media Watch has unwittingly fuelled some exceedingly pointless debate for the blogosphere for an entire four days. Meantime there are bombs exploding, echoes of 9/11 in a White House aerospace fiasco and the war in Iraq continues.

I say leave Arthur Chrenkoff to blog in peace, and comment on or criticise what he has to say at this moment, rather than rehashing words that have long since drifted into cyberspacial oblivion. Like I've said often, blogging is a vehicle of free speech, and a catalyst for constructive and diverse dialogue between people of all backgrounds. In the midst of criticising Chrenkoff, Tim Dunlop of Road to Surfdom makes a very good point:

A key principle is at stake here. In public debate, people should be held accountable for their mistakes, but we risk damaging the very concept of public debate--especially true of blogging, I think--if we turn it into a blood sport. People--particularly non-professionals, that is, citizens--won't participate if they think that every little error is going to see them mocked in public or if they feel there is no coming back from more serious errors. We can criticise each other and we shouldn't pull our punches, but we shouldn't be looking for trophies either. (And of course, higher standards apply to people in public office.)

For some odd reason selected lyrics of Road to Mandalay by Robbie Williams come to mind:

Save me from drowning in the sea
Beat me up on the beach
What a lovely holiday
Theres nothing funny left to say

Everything I touched was golden
Everything I loved got broken
On the Road to Mandalay
Every mistake I've ever made
Has been rehashed and then replayed
As I got lost along the way

There's nothing left for you to give
The truth is all that you've left with
Twenty paces then at dawn
We will die and be reborn

Everything we've ever stolen
Has been lost returned or broken
No more dragons left to slay
Every mistake I've ever made
Has been rehashed and then replayed
As I got lost along the way

Why not again let sleeping dogs lie, eh?

The man who was everywhere
Eddie McGuire. How's this for a CV? Host of the AFL Footy Show, host of Who Wants to Be a Millionaire, AFL commentator, regular contributor to the trashy Melbourne Murdoch rags, shows up every now and again on random radio stations, hosts the TV Week Logie Awards, hosts every National IQ, Driving, Aptitude and Thermonuclear Physics Test that Channel 9 sees fit to telecast... Will the list ever end?

Oh, did I mention he was president of an Australian Rules football club? No? Oh well, that point seems to get glossed over every time he's mentioned in favour of some other facet of his vocation.

Watching lastnight's AFL Footy Show, I was overwhelmed with how much it's now become the Eddie McGuire and the Collingwood Football Club Show. Without the panelists, Sam Newman and the marvellous Trevor Marmalade, that show would be useless. Thankfully Trev's behind the bar to redress the balance, as it were, constantly poking fun at Eddie and Collingwood as a whole, but everything now revolves around Eddie. Lastnight, Sam was constantly taunting Eddie about rumours that were circulating about Mick Malthouse (coach of Collingwood) and correlations between Eddie, the possibility of Eddie purchasing a Sydney apartment, and a random mention of the Sydney Swans. Eddie constantly avoided all subjects and was very swift in getting into a segueway for whatever the subsequent segment was.

I'm not suggesting get rid of Eddie as the host of The Footy Show. Before his public profile skyrocketed he was a perfectly well-respected TV personality, and he was okay in my books, even if he was a Magpie. I'm just saying perhaps there needs to be a fresh face where Eddie's starts to become repetitive. Food for thought...

The Hookes debacle
My father has been involved in the cricket administration industry for the best part of 25 years. During my 17-year chunk of that 25, I've met and gotten to know several interesting cricket personalities, not the least of which include Dean Jones, Merv Hughes, Dav Whatmore, Darren Berry, Allan Border, Bob Parry (international first-class umpire), David Boon and the late David Hookes.

Through my father's work I have also met and become friends with Christine Padfield, the woman who broke her silence about her relationship with David Hookes on Monday's Australian Story on the ABC. As industry goss is wont to do, Dad and his colleagues knew about the relationship well before Hookes' tragic death in January 2004.

For my part, I'd like to say that Hookesy was a ripper of a bloke. Whenever I was around him he was polite and friendly. He's the kind of bloke who wouldn't walk past you without saying g'day and flashing a grin. Christine is also a lovely person. Both have been through so much in their lives, and it's unfortunate that they've both been thrust so forcefully into the public eye.

Reports today say that Hookes had several lovers in the wake of tumultuous times in his marriage. So what. The bloke is dead, for Christ's sake. To the mainstream media of Australia: Have some fucking respect for both David Hookes' memory, and the dignity of those whose lives he touched.

Until next time...

Make do with your first wife, for they will come at night time and eat your tanginess

Me? Stuff up? Let me count the ways...
A few of my posts over the last few days have been critiqued both in comments and via email. I have a few points to make in this post, and I hope to make them comprehensively and definitively.

I have never claimed to be an expert on any one subject, and will never consciously do so in the future. If I ever claim to be a pundit in a particular context, I'll usually mean it in jest, or if not, will come out and apologise profusely at a later stage. I admit there are some things I know more about than others, but for every one of those there are a thousand I know nothing about.

On the Delio case from the other day, I was bombarded on all sides for not being accurate with my numbers. For what its worth, the majority of my research is carried out through the mainstream media, which I acknowledge can be extremely inaccurate and biased. Where possible, I look around the blogosphere for other opinions, and to cross-reference key points. However, at the time of posting that day, there were limited options, and I took what I could get. The MSM neglected to divulge the fact that only a portion of Michelle Delio's work had so far been investigated. If anyone took my error to heart, I apologise, but seriously, get over it. I blog on what I want to blog on and I put up my opinion, which I am entitled to do. Take into account my take on punditry written above, and take what you like from this blog. I hope some people enjoy reading it, and if some don't, then that's fine for them. Each to their own. This is my little space on the web, and if I stuff up, well, that's my problem.

What I will encourage is constructive criticism at a higher level than 'you got this bit wrong'. I'll also say that peoples' opinions can change, and I am not exempt from this. I hope others accept that if I do a complete 180° turn on a topic, it's my choice and mine alone.

Right, now I've got that off my chest...

Beazley's Budget Backlash
In response to a comment left the other day on my budget post, I said that I hadn't heard much of the Opposition's response to Costello's new fiscal plans. In the last 36 hours, Kim Beazley has come out and said quite the opposite of what anyone expected. He not only subliminally supported Costello's budget, he said that were Labor in power, the proposed tax cuts would be increased. So far from opposing the government and coming out to be a Robin Hood figure (i.e. not making the rich richer and forcing the poor to get off their asses and get jobs, and instead stealing from the rich and giving to the poor... yarr), Beazley said he'd double the tax cuts.

But today's reports are what confuse me. Beazley says that he won't 'smooth the way' for the governments proposed tax cuts, but offers an alternative package that would double the weekly tax cuts for the middle-class and 'slash tax breaks for top-income earners.' What the? So Beazley won't endorse the government's actions, but he'll propose pretty much the same thing on a larger scale?

Politics is screwed. Pure and simple. Were I in Beazley's position, I'd go the other direction. I'd tax the rich on a higher scale, and put greater funding into social welfare. As Mr Lefty says, among others, some people simply can't work. Be it through having to look after children, disabilities or other responsibilities, for some it's impossible. These people need looking after. Vote 1 Binnsy in 2008? Heh, not likely.

The Force is with me...
Okay, forgive me for the next week or two as I count down the hours until 12:01am May 19... the time when I'll be settling in to a cinema seat and waiting for that beautiful opening crawl. Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith is on its way.

I received the official newsletter of the Australian SW Appreciation Society, Star Walking, earlier this week, and on page 19 was my article in all its glory! They even dug out a few archival pics of the 1997 release of the Special Edition videos in Myer Melbourne, which I was at, and mentioned in the article. It was interesting just flicking through the newsletter and reading other contributions. Not to blow my own trumpet or anything, but my writing was pretty good comparatively. Keep in mind 'good' is a very relative term.

Flu blurrrgrhrgrhgrhhh
Damn pathogens to hell. I've had the flu for about three days. I had Wednesday off school, went back yesterday but am home again today. Blurgh. It sucks. I'm too tired to do anything but drink tea and sit in front of the computer aimlessly surfing the net. Oh, and blogging, hence this post. Blurgh. Hopefully all will be well by tomorrow afternoon, when the mighty Demons take on the Hawks. Or the Tigers. I know the opposing team has yellow on their uniform. Okay now I'm delirious. I'm going to go make another cup of tea now.

Until next time...

Thursday, May 12, 2005

Secure the downright, the ugly and the fascist, for they are raping the economy

Links aplenty
I've spent a whole ten or so minutes going through all the blogs listed on the sidebar and I've added to them and culled them so much as they are now the blogs that I read often, those that have been kind enough to link to me and those that have asked me to link to them. If you want some linking goodness, chuck us an email.

Indonesia, drugs and foreign policy
Like many, I've been caught up in the furious debate over Schapelle Corby. Once you see her situation, you can't really help but have sympathy for her. As one article I read recently stated, you'd be hard-pressed finding someone outside the Indonesian judiciary who thought she was guilty.

Indonesia's justice system is almost fascist in its attitude towards drug trafficking. In essence, this is far enough, but when its main targets are Australian tourists, that's where the whole thing goes kaput. An irony of the entire situation is that while Corby was pleading for her life in a courtroom a few months ago, the Indonesian president was over here in Australia mourning the loss of the Australian defence personnel in the Sea King helicopter crash on Nias Island.

As soon as Corby was taken over there, all reports said that she was going to be executed. No question. And from what the public could tell, the Australian Department of Foreign Affairs wasn't thinking any differently. There were no press releases from the DFAT, no announcements from Alexander Downer, nothing. But eventually the public uproar echoed through the halls of Parliament House, and the DFAT spoke up.

Funny - the minute DFAT announced its presence in the shemozzle, the prosecution in the Corby case announced it was only going to pursue life imprisonment if Corby was found guilty.

On the flipside, you have the now infamous 'Bali Nine'. I, like many Australians, have little sympathy for these people, as, unlike Corby, they were well aware of what they were in for. But I just don't see why people would be so stupid. These would probably be the top reasons it would be stupid trying to smuggle drugs into Bali or any other Indonesian province:

a) There are enough drugs there already. Walk down a main road and find a dealer.
b) Customs efficiency has improved tenfold since September 11. Unless you happen to pay off a baggage handler, you'd probably be lucky to leave either your departure or arrival terminal.
c) The most severe penalty for drug trafficking in Indonesia is death by firing squad. In the wake of the Corby case this is well and truly public knowledge.

The only possible reason I could think of to sympathise with the Bali Nine is that they may be unwitting pawns in a sinister drug trafficking plot. Given the rumours of threats to their families, it's hard to say what one would do if in that situation. For mine, I'd avoid any such situation altogether - commonsense and conscience tells me to do so. Hence we face the dilemma again - to sympathise or not to sympathise?

I just wouldn't trust a justice system that has proven itself over the past twelve months to be dangerously bent on targeting tourists - especially Australian tourists - as traffickers of illicit substances. This sure as hell can't be doing the Indonesian tourism community any good, and political relations between Australia and Indonesia can't be improving either.

What to do, what to do. Start by telling Indonesia to get rid of its own drugs before targeting suspicious tourists. Let airport security do their job and process offenders, but think of your own people first. Then focus on working with the Australian government in the handling of Australian drug offenders. When it comes to offences committed overseas, diplomacy must in some part play a role. In some cases this is unfair, but if an Australian is accused of drug trafficking, Australia would want to know about it, and have some say in the outcome. Australia's government would recognise the plight of an innocent victim like Schapelle Corby, but also would see the guilty as serious criminals that need punishment, and would act accordingly, working with the Indonesian government to ensure a mutually beneficial solution.

But in the end, it's not up to me. I just worry that Schapelle Corby will have spent half of her sentence in prison before a verdict is even delivered.

School bus blues
Over the past few weeks I've watched closely the case of the bus driver who abandoned a bus full of schoolchildren because a few of them abused him. I support the bus driver unquestionably. The amount of times I wish one of my schoolbus drivers had made a statement like that is countless. I've caught the bus home from school since 1999. I've had some great buses with decent kids on board, and I've had some absolutely hellish bus trips. But regardless of the clientele, I've always admired the bus drivers for being able to put up with whatever is thrown at them, and their ability to handle difficult situations diplomatically but appropriately.

Bus drivers, tram drivers, train conductors: the unsung heroes of the public transport system. In the absence of round-the-clock security, these humble folk keep the peace and ensure everything runs smoothly. Comparing Melbourne and Sydney's transport systems is like comparing apples and oranges. Melbourne's public transport system is very nearly flawlessly integrated, perfectly managed and always clean and on time. Sydney is a public transport nightmare. But in the midst of government funding wars, private sector monopolies and judicial surveillance, the heroes of public transport work tirelessly to override whatever negativity has been pushed either their way or the way of the system as a whole.

The aforementioned bus driver should be given a medal for making a stand. I've seen schoolkids abuse the living shit out of bus drivers, and the drivers take it on the chin - to a point. Eventually a raised voice may result, but if all of them had have done what this bloke did, the school transport system would be a hell of a lot more comfortable for all concerned.

Until next time...

Wednesday, May 11, 2005

The rotting dragon leaves no clue as to his under-authority

Federal Budget 2005 - Sweeping reform or return to a bygone era?
I'm not usually one to pick up one of the Murdoch rags, but due to its being the only one not sold out by the time I reached a newsagent this morning, I was forced to purchase a copy. Thirteen pages of budget coverage later, I was stunned at how much mileage the media can pull out of a federal government event such as this.

I'll admit, the budget is one of the most prominent government initiatives while an administration is in office, but the way the mainstream media latches onto every word is beyond belief. However, Terry McCrann's article on page 38 took the cake for conciseness and wit. A whole twelve months of Costello deliberation coupled with twelve hours of public reaction condensed into four or five hundred words. Political and business commentary as it should be: short, sharp, witty and to-the-point.

There's no doubt that this Costello budget is revolutionary. But McCrann points out that at this stage - the 10-year milestone - the Keating-Hawke governments were starting to fall over the edge. Massive declines in public support, overwhelming pileups in debt - the wheels were starting to fall off. But Costello's managed to turn it around and distribute a plan that addresses many of the issues that Howard set out to change. Sure, there are those here and there that are whinging about the Medicare safety net, but Costello's more or less redressed that imbalance, with tax cuts across the board, freeing up family funds for things like healthcare and such.

McCrann also highlights the overwhelming irony of Costello's 10th budget in the context of events over the past few weeks: In delivering such a strong, positive plan for the nation' fiscal future, Costello has pretty much assured his place as treasurer for an 11th budget, which pretty much craps all over his plans to usurp the prime ministership. Oops.

I've never really taken much of an interest in national finances and the like, but I can see where Australia is falling behind, and where funding might need a boost. I see things like tsunami warning systems and defence funding increases as highly circumstantial. But other areas like family tax cuts, healthcare, employment incentives - the Howard government has worked hard to address these issues in the midst of ridiculous debate over leadership, foreign policy and international affairs. Kudos to the PM and Treasurer - you may not be the best administration Australia's had, but you're the best option we've got for the time being.

Some good budget posts from Andrew Bartlett and Mark Bahnisch.

Online journalism under the pump
In the wake of the Chrenkoff saga of Monday night, the SMH revealed that an investigation into Wired News journalist Michelle Delio has uncovered a number of her sources could be fabricated.

Wired News is a technology, politics and popular culture service manifesting itself in online, blog and print forms. The service is run by the Lycos network. Wired executives paid for the report to be undertaken against Delio, a freelance contributor to the news service. From the Wired report on the investigation:

Most of Delio's sources were in fact located and confirmed by [Adam] Penenberg.

Of the hundreds of thousands of journalists working all over the globe, how many most likely fabricate the odd source or two? It was even acknowledged in the SMH report that these misplaced sources were usually only 'color quotes', or those inserted into an article to fluff it out a little.

Of the 700 articles Michelle Delio has had published on Wired, only 24 were found to contain references to questionable sources. That means over 96% of her articles contain references to confirmed, existing, living, breathing sources. Though the Wired report says:

The unconfirmed sources affect the content of these stories to varying degrees. For example, the Florida network tax story contains only one quote from a source Penenberg could not confirm, but the quote does not materially affect the rest of the story.

Admittedly the integrity of other stories was signicantly jeopardised by questionable sources, but the job of an editor is to authenticate sources, and if some are found, remove them. Alert the journalist in question, and move on! Artistic license plays a role to a degree also. But in the case of a lone journalist who's produced a fair few articles of unquestionable information, it's probably best to let sleeping dogs lie.

Until next time...

Tuesday, May 10, 2005

Much in the sovereign primers of super turf

Chrenkoff on Media Watch
Renowned and respected blogger Arthur Chrenkoff was mentioned in dispatches on ABC TV's Media Watch program lastnight. Chrenkoff was linked with columnist Janet Albrechtsen of The Australian. You can see the transcript of the show's segment here.

It is unclear whether or not the program was taking a stab at Chrenkoff, or whether it was targeting Albrechtsen. I think the idea was the Albrechtsen had been spotted as saying that the public should take a broader view of the way of things in Iraq. Through various links and the like, Chrenkoff's name popped up, and he is criticised for having trawled the web for his stories. Media Watch said that the stories are those that 'no one else has reported', and goes on to say that they've been 'culled from stories produced by the BBC, the Washington Post and other media outlets.' Nice work. You've just defined blogging. Daily, bloggers potter around the net, looking for stuff to comment on. They post it, they quote it, they analyse it, they paraphrase it. It is the very nature of blogging to rip people off. For the majority, it's a non-profit exercise, so it sure as hell isn't illegal, and is even less up for question by the ABC's chief media watchdog program. The transcript of the segment even says that Chrenkoff himself isn't in it for the cash:

Arthur is not paid by the Wall Street Journal or the Dow Jones website OpinionJournal.com

In the end, I think the piece was targeting Janet Albrechtsen, but Media Watch really should stick to the mainstream media. As they say of their show, 'everyone loves it until they're on it'. The public loves to see the mainstream media in the crosshairs. When its one of the best of their own kind, blog retribution will be swift, painful and eloquent, naturally.

My opinions on Chrenkoff's blog are mixed. On the one hand he is attempting to publicise the other side of the story (in his own words, 'redress the balance'), but he doesn't go far enough with his ideas. The writing can be shallow and occasionally is a blatant rip-off of perfectly decent journalism from one of his sources. When it comes to the crunch, he's a blogger, and I should in some way empathise with him. And again, before Janet Albrechtsen was targeted, he was free to do what he wanted. Freedom of speech, no matter how shallow or contrived that speech is, is a wonderful thing, as long as no one capitalises from it.

Good posts on this can be found over at Road to Surfdom and Citystate.

Left meets right
I received a response today from both emails sent to right-wing person (I know, person sounds a little derogatory, but he is one and I couldn't think of a better word in that particular milisecond) Wayne Biro, whose article 'Facism, Anyone? - A Response', I analysed back on April 30.

This was the first time that I'd ever really 'confronted' the right head-on. Usually I'm pretty laidback and hesitant when it comes to the crunch, but I was eager to lock horns with any takers on this, as the article, to be quite honest, really pissed me off. So I really didn't know what to expect in reply. The extreme left paint the right as Nazis, hermits, warriors and geniuses, among other things. I know it's wrong to base anticipation on stereotype, but you can't help but do so in these situations. So it was either going to be a friendly reply to my email, an indifferent grunt of acknowledgement or a definitive declaration of war.

Thankfully it was the first. Wayne Biro seemed very eager to check in on the Hovel regularly and have his say every now and again. His attitudes were constructive and again, he seems highly intelligent. In his words, he'll be psyching up 'for a stiff challenge to the assumptions/information/logic/intuition/values I've based my arguments on'. You think I managed that alright, readers? Have a reread of the blog post in question, and a browse through Biro's original article, and comment on what you reckon. I invite any righties to have their say as well.

Until next time...

Monday, May 09, 2005

Croquet is but for the modesty of the paternal nativity

A day of relative normality
In the wake of the day of maternity-like people, much happened today. Normal classes returned on Friday, but the start of a new week always heralds renewed vigour in the generosity of teachers with work - especially the dreaded reading-writing-study-that-shalt-be-done-at-thy-place-of-residence, which never seems to end. Ten questions worth of maths down, another sheet to go!

Our English exams were returned today - and there are a few areas I can work on big time. However, overall I'm happy with the result. It'll be filed away and brought out in a few weeks' time to begin the downhill sprint to trials in August.

Hitler was charming, polite, and loved the circus
Thanks to Ant Loewenstein for the links and heads-up for this post.

Last week the Guardian newspaper published an article about an interview with Hitler's last nurse, Erna Flegal, who only recently broke her sixty-year silence about her last days with the Nazi leader. She was in the Fuhrer's house on April 30, 1945 when Hitler committed suicide. She speaks of Hitler himself: 'His authority was extraordinary. He was always polite and charming. There was really nothing to object to.' She speaks also of her relationship with the Goebbels family, and her horror at their murder-suicide. She says Magda Goebbels 'was a very clever woman, on a higher level than most people', and says the Goebbels children were 'charming' and 'absolutely delightful'.

It would be hard for many free-thinking people to think of the human side of Nazi Germany. The leaders of this terrible regime were first and foremost members of the human race. They thought, felt, ate, slept and breathed just as we do. Hitler's actions testify to just how much of a monster he was, and he was indeed the epitome of evil - countless lives destroyed on his orders. But to comprehend him as a 'charming, polite' man would be impossible for many.

Adolf Hitler was an incredibly smart man. He was turned down from Vienna Academy of Arts, but was told he should become an architect on account of considerable artistic talent. Before World War I, Hitler produced some 2000 works of art, some of which were placed on postcards and sold in Vienna for money. Hitler took an active interest in pseudoscience, neo-religion and polemics - pursuits which stemmed from active anti-Semitism, a common trait among his contemporary Austrians, and nothing contextually abnormal. However, his interests and hasty misinterpretations of the works of Liebenfels, Lueger and Ritter von Schonerer, among others, led to rash generalisations against Jews, which, in the end, led to his rise to the head of the Workers' Party, and eventually his downfall.

Hitler was once impoverished, and made a living selling the aforementioned postcards. An inhabitant of the homeless shelter Hitler lived in offered to sell his postcards. This man was a Jew named Hanisch. Of course, in Mein Kampf, this occurrence is never mentioned, but for mine, I'd love to have asked old Adolf about his days back in Vienna, and about the Jew who sold his postcards.

C.W. Binns - relived
I received today a parcel my grandfather sent me, containing all manner of papers pertaining to my great grandfather's military service. Included were copies of excerpts from Charles' diary, complete war and medical records, pictures of his medals and all telegrams sent and received concerning Charles, mainly just after he was wounded at Pozieres.

Just reading the short, sharp diary entries is highly amusing. My great grandfather was obviously an optimistic chap, as his tone reflects an awfully complacent air. Quotes like 'some excitement last night' and 'things got a bit lively' conjure up images of a greatly-moustached man wearing a skull-cap and smoking a pipe, who ends every sentence with 'lad' or 'old boy'. Other great quotes include 'McCarthy hit on head with bomb and went to hospital.' - well, obviously - 'Gun practice. Four shots fired. Four men in hospital as a result.' - Never good. One that my English groupies will like was written whilst homeward bound aboard the S.S. Ulysses - 'A big albatross flying around.' Ring any bells? - 'At length did cross an Albatross, / Through the fog it came...'

War seems to have been a rather public event. Whilst travelling through French towns the unit would be played to by the local band, and when not training my great grandfather would be at the pictures quicksmart.

After he was wounded on July 25, 1916, Charles spent several months in Britain staying with relatives and having a rather pleasant time. 'Cake and grapes', movies every second day, trips into town with rellies! Some bloody war!

Over the next few weeks I'll be trying to summarise this information and doing some additional research of my own. Again I'm not entirely sure what I want to do - I think I'm just going to start writing and see where the journey takes me.

Until next time...

Sunday, May 08, 2005

Forgo the usual fraternity pardon - I'll eat the clam

UPDATE at 6:25PM: Here's the dilemma. Do I forgo all preconceived notions and tune into Channel 10 at 7:30pm to settle in for two hours of wonderfully cynical viewing? Only time will tell. Besides, it runs right into NCIS...


The weekend of things that could've been...
This weekend was a weekend of hypotheticals, hindsight and all things pseudo-retrospective.

Two events were on this weekend that I would have loved to have been present at, and will be for sure next time around. The first of these was Grogblogging II in the city lastnight, which was almost impossible to get to because of parental concern, lack of appropriate licenses, the three-month lacking of 18-ness and the fact that after working yesterday I really couldn't have been stuffed. Plus the after-effects of such an evening would not be appropriate for the post-exams return to normal classes this week. Nonetheless, comprehensive coverage of this spectacular event can be read at Spleenie, Misha's Rants, The Open Mind, Glen Fuller and I'm sure Darp will be posting once the headache wears off.

I will without doubt, rain/hail/shine, whether living in Melbourne, Sydney or Swaziland, be attending Grogblogging III next year. Fo sho. Nothing will stop me. The after-effects of the post-year 12 holidays may hinder me for a few months, but what can you do.

The other event I missed out on today was Skyforce, the meeting of Star Walking Inc. This was mainly due to the fact that the silly people put the damn meeting on the day of mothers, and as such my presence was required at home. Never mind: August 21 is the next one, and all Sydney blogging and Star Wars people are invited to attend by me. More info here.

Super 24-Hour Matriarchal Celebratory Event
Happy Mother's Day to all mothers or pseudo-mothers that read this blog. I spent the morning and early afternoon with Mum drinking coffee, chatting and playing cards. Much fun.

Anyhoo, there is Physics study to be done. May or may not blog later, depending on level of could-or-could-not-be-stuffedness.

Until next time...

Saturday, May 07, 2005

Ritualistic anagrams of the umpteenth degree

UPDATE at 11:51pm: Whilst trawling the net for random stuff I came across a banner for internet hosting company FreeSigHosting. This is it (Click for larger view.):

Does that or does that not look like Santo Cilauro in the video clip for the Molvanian entry into Eurovision, the widely-acclaimed yet remarkably little-known techno-ballad 'Elektronik - Supersonik' by Zladko "Zlad" Vladcik?

After visiting the FreeSigHosting site, I can authoritatively declare that no other images of Vladcik appear. Highly disappointing.

Hey baby wake up from your asleep
We have arrived onto de future
De whole world is become...elektronik...

Hugh Jackman is full of crap
I was overwhelmingly bloated at my discovery that claims made by Peter Allen wannabe-cum-Hollywood megastar-cum-Foxtel frontman Hugh Jackman are entirely refutible (yes, I'm sure refutible is a word...somewhere). Or they are at the very least not all that super.

The first of the two main claims are that with Foxtel, it is possible to pause live television while you go and do another something. The second is that you can tape two shows simultaneously.

I'll take the latter first. If you have two TV's and two VCR's, which many households do, you can already tape two shows simultaneously!

Now, the first point, about pausing live television. The premise of live television is that it is streamed constantly to your television, with the standard delay of around five to seven seconds. If you pause live TV, then return to resume it later, it is no longer live! The entire premise of live TV is shattered! Kaput! No more! What's the difference between taping a live telecast? Nothing! There is nothing special whatsoever!

Ah, now let me revel in my genius...

UPDATE at 11:15pm: Oh, God...literally:

Your Papal Name is Pope Adrian VII

You think Pope Benedict IX was a Saint who should have indulged himself a bit more. You're already halfway though "How to Excommunicate for Fun and Profit" and, if you were made Pope, you would have the treasures of the Vatican on eBay.co.uk before the end of week one.

Get your own name at What's My Papal Name?


Where the streets have no name
This morning I walked around the streets of my town, delivering flyers for a local realtor. It was a lovely Autumn day - well, for me, which was a little chilly, clouds around, with the smell of burning fireplaces and wet foliage, plus the faint odour of imminent rain....a perfect day. Walking around the streets was an interesting experience. I realised that the town I live near (we live on acreage about five or so minutes away - same postcode, though) is highly underrated. Its reputation is quite negative, but walking around, you find that such claims are clearly unwarranted. The streets are clean, most of the people are friendly, the lawns are mowed, bushes pruned - all very nice. It was almost as though I was back in suburbia, going for a brisk walk!

Admittedly my legs are stuffed now, though. Three solid hours of walking around a not-so-flat suburban area, when you're not fit, takes its toll. But hey, if it becomes a regular thing, I'm being paid to get in shape! I also vow never to have a 'No Junk Mail' sticker on my letterbox, even if I don't like junk mail. I appreciate that there are hundreds of thousands of children and young adults like myself who wander the streets delivering junk mail. This is where many young workers get their launch into the workforce. Seriously, how hard is it for homeowners to clean out their mailbox, have a glance at what was delivered and chuck it out - you're supporting local businesses by letting deliverers fill your box with crap! You're supporting local people by letting them get rid of their pamphlets and get paid. There - there's my lesson for the day.

Creationists, Methodists and Communists... oh my!
The hot debate in the NationStates forum at the moment was inspired by the latest NationStates UN Resolution concerning the teaching of the theory of evolution. Summarised, the resolution goes as follows:

Right to learn about evolution
REGRETTING the threat to human rights which is the suppression of learning about evolutionary theory;
NOTING that many religions do not feel threatened by evolutionary theory. Furthermore it is unlikely that God is so malevolent as to plant evidence that our planet is aged 3.5 billion years;
MANDATES a strong symbolical disapproval against any member state that persists to physically imprison / punish teachers or students for engaging in evolutionary studies.
ASKS member nations work with world leaders to prevent the suppression of evolutionary theory in the classroom.

The forum thread mentioned earlier now has about 30 pages worth of posts, all varying in levels academic sophistication and, I must admit, fluctuating levels of intelligence. If you'd like to view all the posts, go here. My response to the original posts was pretty much as follows.

I appreciate that lots of people have opinions on this issue, and in putting forward my opinion I intend to be as objective as I can... and yes, I understand that statement is paradoxical, but hey, what can you do. Put it this way, I'll try and articulate my arguments such that as few toes are stepped on as possible, hmm? Right.

First of all, I believe that apart from a few select liberalist scientists and a few nutjob theories here and there, science and religion will NEVER, EVER coexist in a completely peaceful state. It is nigh on impossible, given that religion will very nearly always be speculation, and many scientific theories will have been proven in one way or another. Once we can accept that, we move on.

I could comment on the 'separation of school/religion and state issue', but not being an American, I feel a little unqualified. However, on education as a whole, I feel that religion in any form should not be taught at school. I am a practising Anglican (Aussie version of Episcopal), so don't think I'm anti-religion at all. I just don't think any doctrine should be forced into a generation. I think religion is something that if people are prepared to find it for themselves, it should be something they should do in their own time, and during which time they feel most comfortable. In one of the early posts, Selestyna wrote: 'The Bible, or any religous text, is open to interpretation.' First and foremost, the BIBLE IS NOT LAW. For most Christians, the Bible is simply a guide for living a life that is acceptable in the eyes of the Lord. I have had many confrontations with diehard fundamentalists who have cursed me for 'associating with homosexuals' - I am not one, but I don't believe they should be banished from society; I believe they are people first off: what they do behind closed doors is their own business. I digress: Fundies also argue with me for being a science student - 'How dare you learn about alternate and fabricated realities!' Okay, back to the Bible - it was written by the same people who thought the Earth was flat.

Stories in the Bible are just ways of putting a religious spin on something the authors probably knew had an alternate and more plausible explanation.

Whether or not we're Buddhist, Christian, etc, many of the principal faiths of the modern world are based on fact. It is undisputed historical fact that there was a prophet named Jesus who walked and talked the place up whereever he went. Whether he did half the stuff the Bible says he did, you can't deny that he must have ticked quite a few people off, and people are still talking about him two thousand years on!

I don't agree with sectarianism in any way - between religions or alternating scientific ideologies. We are all human beings - this forum is a prime example of people being able to constructively debate a topic - and people from all backgrounds, religions, etc. I particularly enjoyed reading Aeridia's post about her friends... I too have many different religions in my social group, and my, do we have some ripper debates!

Molnervia hit it on the head, in many ways: nothing should be taken too seriously, everything about religion is up for debate, there are people with vastly different views and that a lot of public perception about religion comes from reaction to the mainstream media. Being a blogger, I stand against the mainstream media in every form (I'm not saying all bloggers do). I think blogging is a fresh, dynamic way of seeing differing opinions on new topics and then formulating your own. In terms of this debate, my only point to make is that religion should not be forced onto anyone. I voted for this resolution, because of the emphasis it placed on not being superior over any other doctrine. Students should be objectively taught about the full spectrum of ideological theories, then left alone to decide what their 'reality' is. Well that, or they should be taught nothing...

I made mention of a few prior posters that will mean nothing to readers of this blog, but if you want to read their posts you'll have to visit the link placed above.

Amazingly, only one forumgoer refuted any of my claims, and the refuted claim was that in the first paragraph concerning the coexistence of science and religion. Again, in quoting direct forum posts I'll respect the author's anonymity:

What a silly thing to claim. Science and religion are both searches for truth, simply in different areas. There is absolutely no reason that they cannot coexist, so long as each sticks to its own subject matter.

I agree...maybe my ideas were not articulated properly. The fact that exponents of both science and religion have come to loggerheads so often undermines all talk of peaceful coexistence. As ideologies, both science and religion have valid arguments. As far as proof goes, things start to get a little hazy. It's when people and egos become involved that hostility emerges. The same thing has happened in the church for the past two thousand years. Things were sweet for the first couple of hundred years, but once power, money, riches, egos became involved, the church was no longer about God. In the same way, peaceful coexistence between science and religion is nigh impossible, not because of the quest for knowledge, but because of the common man's greed for a buck.

Until next time...

Underlying principles outweigh the generic balance of pencil-time

UK Election Time
This could just be a distinctly Australian perspective, but every time I think of a British election, I envisage a particularly busy episode of 'Yes, Minister'. For any British readers out there, is this anywhere near fact?

"Humphrey, have the votes been tallied?"
"Well, ah, we're still working on them, sir."
"For God's sake, man, what's taking so bloody long?"
"I'm sorry sir, but the polls only closed, oh, three and a half minutes ago."

Anywhere near reality? I just imagine Tony Blair sitting at a desk with Humphrey waddling around. That's my vision of British parliament, and I'm sticking to that.

Upon having just returned from the ballot, a British poster on the NationStates forums who shall here remain anonymous, summed up the candidates brilliantly:

Local Candidates:
Labourless (Useless.)
Lib Dems (Not much better.)
Conservacrap (Are you thinking what we're thinking? Hell no!)
Green Party (Policies are too extreme.)

General Candidates:
Labourless (Still useless.)
Lib Dems (Still not much better.)
Conservacrap ("Pinky, are you pondering what i'm pondering?" "I think so brain, but where are we gonna find pink elastic bands at this time of day?")
Green Party (Still too extreme.)
UKIP (Or the BNP in sheeps clothing)
Monster Raving Loony Party (Now this sounds better.)

Why doesn't Australia have a Monster Raving Loony Party? Mind you, one year I leant over Mum's shoulder while she voted and spied the Fishing Party and the Minnie Mouse Party. Ooooh, I can't wait to vote: This nation is screwed. Fishing Party all the way!

Kokoda Kaput
I don't know if I've mentioned on here that there was a possibility that I might have been trekking the Kokoda Track in July. Well, that's now been cancelled, and quite appropriately so, given that the tour company we booked with decided to up the price from $2200pp to $4900pp once all our bookings were approved. At this, we politely responded, 'Fuck this,' to put it nicely, and buggered off.

Look, as disappointed as I am that I'm not going, I have to look at the flipside. Given the risks, no matter how unlikely, I'd rather be taking them when I don't have to return to Australia for trial HSC exams. The possibility of malaria, footrot, broken bones, misadventure... all things I don't need to be facing coming into the most important months of my education thus far. I'll probably have enough stress as it is.

That said, the Track is something that I definitely want to do in the next few years. For some reason this ANZAC Day affected me more profoundly than any other. I just felt overwhelmingly emotional and patriotic, and realised more than ever what it means to me to be Australian. I could frequently be heard wandering around the house whistling Waltzing Matilda or Botany Bay or True Blue.

And I was so inspired that I've decided to start writing the story of my great grandfather. A story short and insignificant to others it may be, but it's important to me as both a member of the Binns family and as an Australian. I'm also most at home and contented with the world when writing, so this seems the perfect way to make myself the most relaxed and feeling-the-vibe as I can possibly be!

I hope to complement my research with a trip to Belgium and France in the early months of next year, taking a tour of the battlefields of the Western Front, where my great grandfather fought. But that's all a long way off, and much lies between now and then.

Including work tomorrow morning, which is a significant hurdle I must bound. The first phase of getting over this hurdle is the fact that as I type this my little Windows clock reads 12:14AM, which means that I in truth have to work later this morning, not tomorrow as written previously. The second phase is that I must get at least 6 hours sleep between now and 8AM, which in theory should not be extensively difficult. In theory. In practise, what will most likely transpire is me sitting here for another two and a half hours reading blogs, which will make it 2:45AM, therefore making it nigh impossible for me to get six hours sleep before the crow of cock... well, that is if the cock crew at 8AM, which it does in my world... especially on a Saturday morning.

Well, I guess I best start reading these blogs, as not to put off the inevitable fallacy of the previous paragraph for too long.

Until next time...

Friday, May 06, 2005

From the depths of incarceration come the apocalyptic horse-mongers

Back into reality today - normal classes returned to action, teachers in a constant state of complaint at our resumption of study (is resumption a word?).

Frontline vs. 50th Gate
Okay, feel free to ignore me if you wish, but this is something that's pissing me off at the moment...

The recommended text in Year 12 Advanced English, in the study area of 'Telling the Truth', is a few episodes of the television series Frontline, made by the crew from The Panel. Now, in my opinion, Frontline is an incredible piece of work. It is an accurate, funny and downright ridiculous portrayal of the Australian media. It also exaggerates to a point what could happen was the government to influence the mainstream media in some way.

This is what is getting me ticked: our new English teacher Mrs. S. (following the departure of the beloved Mr. K. last year) all of a sudden pulled this holocaust book out of nowhere and said we were doing it for this particular module. Huff! Where does she get off changing the prescribed text when for the past 18 months we've been told we're doing Frontline! Now, Mrs. S. is a brilliant teacher. Highly intelligent, can't spell for crackers (very amusing) and has a ridiculous sense of humour - she fits in well with the Extension class. I also could be biased towards Frontline because of my interest in the relationship between the media and society, but I sincerely believe that Frontline is a far better text for studying, because it's not that hard to extract language/film techniques from, it's a brilliantly constructed text, and it's bloody funny! I would much rather analyse a parody of the Aussie media than a terribly depressing lament about the Holocaust!

Anyhoo, that rant is over - forgive me my little rant.

Friends are coming over for dinner so I best be off... and I may post more later tonight before Channel 9 finally decides to telecast the Demons/Crows match (circa 11:15pm - I may make it through the first half, God and fatigue willing).

Until next time...

Thursday, May 05, 2005

Grabbing the world anthology of peppercorns is not what I had in mind

A Short History Of Bynzekistan
Inspired by a number of blogs I found overnight wholly devoted to NationStates and individual nations, I've decided to blog a bit about this marvellous feat of computer engineering, my nation itself and the applications I think NationStates holds for the world at large. So without further ado, I give you...

A Short History of Bynzekistan and the Applications of NationStates to the World at Large

Chapter 1: Bynzekistan

Origins

Last year I was known to frequent the ever-funny and highly ridiculous flash comic known as Weebl & Bob. Now, Weebl and Bob is part of the Jolt network, and being a highly introverted web host, the Jolt network advertises its own sub-sites on its pages. Hence, whilst viewing a highly entertaining adventure of Weebl and his friend Bob, I spied a banner which decreed NationStates. It was the eye that got me in. That feminine eye with the 'come-to-bed' eyes, but with this hideous stamp of corporatisation on the side of her face. Interestingly I still have yet to read Max Barry's novel Jennifer Government, but hope to once this year is out.

A Nation is Born

Now it came to pass that wandering around a vast piece of cyberspace were a number of nomadic tribes: the tall, graceful Romani, the short, stumpy Moruks and the middleweight Larylens. Whilst passing over this land a libertarian writer paused to examine these races. He wrote:

Dignified as all three races are, they long for unity - a central point upon which all three cultures can diverge.

Having read the works of said writer, I went to visit this vast land. The people there warmed to me, and I to them. So, in a great and momentous stand for the freedom and unity of these peoples, it was that I went to the front page of NationStates, signed up, and the glorious nation of Bynzekistan was born.

The three tribes were united, although I was certain to ensure that as much of their heritage and culture remained in place. That said, all three races were more than eager to start integrating into whatever new exclusive culture I instilled. I set about creating a single language, so that all three races could communicate freely, but ensured that dress codes weren't restrictive towards racial garb.

But alas, it wasn't long before the issues became repetitive and I wanted something more. The day-to-day rigmarole of government wasn't enough. So I made a little web site for my nation, which is no longer around. I even made up a national anthem to the melody of that of the Soviet Union ('O Bynzekistani Glory').

And thus it remained that I'd log in every day and vote on the important matters that came before the Supreme Council of Bynzekistan. Many times I felt like simply walking away. But I would think of those three beautiful races. Those tiny children. That beautiful Romani soup I once tasted. And I realised that I was these peoples' hope. I inspired them. They could not be abandoned.

Present Day & Into the Future

As it stands at the time of publication, the nation of Bynzekistan is home to 1.523 billion citizens. Civil rights are rated as good, whilst the economy and political freedoms leave a little to be desired. At present, the exchange rate is about 247 munchkins to the dollar. The income tax rate is 100% - although I just passed a law that will take a significant cut from this. In order to restore some equilibrium to the economy, I'm trying as much as possible to cut taxes, but privatise many other parts of society, such as beaches. Although my nation as a whole could be viewed as socialist, the number of citizens I've spoken to have all agreed that life couldn't be better.

Chapter 2: NationStates and the World

On the Net

In my travels around the net, NationStates pops up everywhere. On the whole, I've seen a trend that people start up a nation, go through all the issues, get bored and leave. My first region, Bolbynzia, that I started up with a friend, once was home to 22 nations. Now it's home to only 10. Lastnight I created a new region, Ethymeritos, where I hope to encourage established nations to join in some healthy political debate. Established nations who see NationStates as a community, not just a game. The discussion in the NationStates forum is frenzied and copious.

A synthesis of constructive political debate

This is what I see as NationStates' contribution to the world. First and foremost, NationStates is a politics-based web game. This sets the tone for lots of constructive political debate. What are the consequences of cutting taxes? What will happen if I subsidise illicit drugs?

Integration of politics and education

In the same way as above, NationStates is also a great educational tool. Max Barry writes on the 'NationStates for Educators' page that the game can be used to teach classes about politicking, balancing competing points of view, resolving ethical dillemas, the nature of freedom, exploring social complexity and the nature of patriotism. All very healthy stuff to be educating youth about. For mine I've learnt a lot about what people see as important contemporary issues, and where I stand on them. I can also see what effect my choices would have on a nation, albeit in a microcosm of cyberspacial territory.

I hope to blog a little more about NationStates in the coming months, but for the moment check out my nation, Bynzekistan (under 'Binnsy's Hovel' in the sidebar), have a look at NationStates as a whole, check out Max Barry's site, the blog of Sirocco, one of the Nationstates moderators, or the blog of the nation of Yuunli, as an example of the implications of blogging for NationStates enthusiasts.

Meantime, if you're interested in signing up, why not consider Ethymeritos for a region? I encourage all to join me there for constructive political debate within the sphere of NationStates.

Until next time...

Wednesday, May 04, 2005

Victory is only what the softball sees as fact

UPDATE at 5:44PM:This thanks to Antony Loewenstein, Road to Surfdom and William Burroughs' Babboon:

Oh, so evil...


It's over.

No more exams. I am finished. Extension I was furious and fast and over very quickly. At times I felt I was rushing, at other moments I felt oddly content. In the end I was happy with my response, and for remembering most of my quotes. This is basically all I had to memorise:

Manifold hell without no power. Were't not for to be Middleton. For precrime I'll drink to my heart at length. No one assails, do they not?

Confused? Basically just the first one or two words of each of my quotes, and apart from the odd slip I used most of them perfectly. Brilliant.

Odd how last week I said that I probably wouldn't blog often but I've probably blogged more prolifically in the past two weeks than I have ever before! Anyhoo. Tonight will see me spending some quality time with the family, as I have been bailed up in my room for the past week and a half studying, emerging only for ablutions and sustenance. Oh, and coffee. Mmm. Coffee.

Exams are an odd time. A particular problem I have whilst in the middle of them is a terrible case of insomnia. For the past week and a half I haven't gotten into bed since past midnight. Probably not at all good for me, but hey. I mean, I could've gotten into bed before then, but I just would've lay awake for an indeterminate period of time. Bugger that.

Exams are a blur of study, computer screen, coffee, food, sleep, late nights... not healthy.

Anyhoo, it's over now, thank God. Back to reality, at least until the trials in August...

Until next time...

Examine the ways of Gertrude and you will glean an oyster

Inspired by the study that I had to undertake lastnight, I thought I'd blog on a few issues that interested me. For a bit of background, the genre we're studying is 'Revenge Tragedy'; the two compulsory texts were Euripides' Medea and Thomas Middleton's The Revenger's Tragedy. My chosen related texts were Edgar Allan Poe's The Cask of Amontillado and the film Minority Report, directed by Steven Spielberg.

The first interesting thing of note was my discovery of the true meaning of the Latin phrase 'deus ex machina'. In certain films, such as Donnie Darko, it is referred to as 'the god machine', and I always suspected it as some sort of apocalyptic construct. Lastnight I found a much more earth-bound meaning. It was a popular technique of classic stage directors to include deities and supernatural elements in their plays. In some dramas these inclusions would only be manifest as passing references and nothing more. But in some, such as Medea, these Gods would actually be represented on stage as characters. At the end of Medea, a chariot of the god Dionysus whisks Medea and her two dead children away to Athens. On stage, this would be represented using an apparatus called a 'mechane', which would suspend the chariot over the stage, making it appear to be flying or floating. Occasionally this device would be referred to as 'deus ex machina', literally 'god from the machine'.

In figurative terms, 'deus ex machina' means a kind of divine intervention. When all earthly avenues for resolution have been explored, and man is despairing, a god steps in to clean things up. This connection will feature prominently in the essay I'll be writing this afternoon for my English Extension I exam. Basically the correlation between the texts is that all feature (or make a point of not featuring) supernatural elements. Both Medea and The Revenger's Tragedy make reference to divinities, although with different tones. In Medea:

Manifold are thy shapings, Providence!
Many a hopeless matter gods arrange.

Note the tone here of someone still believing in the integrity of the higher powers, as opposed to references in The Revenger's Tragedy, one of which states:

No power is angry when the lustful die:
When thunder claps, then heaven likes the tragedy.

Here the divine is seen as a justification of action; in particular, Vindice's revenge against the murderers of his mistress, Gloriana, and the lecherous Duke.

Another point I'll be making is that of murder as a 'convenient political expedient'. Thomas Middleton's world was a world of corruption and extremes: of power and weakness, of kings and peasants, of nauseating luxury and revolting squalor. In context, the world was still recovering from the feudal system. Lawlessness reigned, and the threat of tyranny was ever-present. What better place to stage a play? But alas, due to the Britons' overwhelming denial that no such thing could ever happen in their part of the world, they set their plots in other countries, such as Italy, which was seen as a melting pot of all things exotic, treacherous and dangerous: beautiful women, lots of money and lots of power to be shared around - perfect. As one critic said: 'Middleton's world is one of corruption and duality - parasites the lot, driven by lust and greed for social advancement.' This point is driven home by Middleton when he writes:

Were't not for gold and women, there would be no damnation.

When there's lots of power to be had, there's no shortage of people who want it, and will do anything to get it. And murder is a very handy tool to this end. In all revenge tragedies, murder is usually one of the key actions and ideas. Deliberations abound - Should I do it? What will happen if I do? Minority Report offers an interesting perspective on the motivations behind murder and the choices we make. If you knew a crime was going to happen, would it be right to punish the potential criminal before he committed the crime? Failure of the justice system is a common thread in most revenge tragedies. In Minority Report Dr Iris Hineman says:

For precrime to function there can't be any suggestion of fallibility. After all, who wants a justice system that instils doubt - it may be reasonable but it's still doubt.

Anyhoo, the justice system fails, and the original crime goes unpunished. The avenger then goes vigilante and intends to replicate the original crime, but through some 'hamartia', or fatal flaw, he, knowingly or inadvertently, instigates his own downfall. The use of murder as a 'political expedient' can be seen many times over in The Revenger's Tragedy, influenced by lust, corruption and retributive angst. 'For,' as Vindice says, 'to be honest is not to be i'th'world.'

Murder also features prominently in the 'domestic tragedies' of the 19th and 20th centuries, of which Edgar Allan Poe's The Cask of Amontillado is an example. This short story could be described as a comedy of ironies, much the same way people labeled The Revenger's Tragedy, and reinforcing the Renaissance idea of 'life as a dance'. Black, ironic humour features prominently. Whilst inadvertently walking to his death, Fortunato announces, 'I drink to the buried that repose around us.' To which Montresor, Fortunato's future murderer, replies, 'And I to your long life.' But in many ways The Cask of Amontillado goes against the grain of revenge tragedy. Where usually there is a deliberation of whether or not the revenge will occur, Poe merely inserts more irony:

My heart grew sick ... on account of the dampness of the catacombs.

Indeed Montresor's family motto reflects his reasoning:

Nemo me impune lacessit. (No one assails me with impunity.)

In conclusion, I refer to a quote by scathing 16th century writer Phillip Stubbs, who asked of plays, 'Do they not maintain bawdry, insinuate foolery, and renew our remembrance of heathen idolatory?' To which I reply, yes, Mr Stubbs. Oh yes. They do that, and much more. Revenge tragedy is a response to one of the timeless fantasies of humanity - vengeance. No matter what era, people will always respond to the feelings and ideas associated with 'getting even'. The idea of revenge is universal, and will always be.

Until next time...

Tuesday, May 03, 2005

Under the imp: The way peanuts should be

Syndicated goodness
For those of you who are interested, the Hovel is now syndicated with FeedBurner. To view the XML content feed, click here. I've also added a feed counter to the sidebar which shows how many..hmm...'feeders' I have.

For those of you using Firefox, the best search engine, a great plug-in news aggregator for reading these feeds is Sage. Sage also accepts regular Blogger Atom feeds, for example mine, which is:

http://binnsyshovel.blogspot.com/atom.xml

For those of you who couldn't give a crap about syndication, good for you, and you are in no way affected by any of the above!

Exams continue...
Will they ever end?

Today I worked solidly for three hours through the half-yearly exam for 2 Unit Mathematics. Phwoar. That thing was a beast. And I'm not feeling great about it. But the good news is I'm not feeling as terrible about it as I normally do about such things. And hey, I was able to do a question I sucked at last year, so that's progress, no matter how small.

ONE TO GO - Extension English tomorrow, and only one hour's worth. If I get a significant amount of study done tonight I can sleep in until about 10am tomorrow (the exam's at 12:15) then get up and blog before I head off. Should be sweet. So until then I bid thee adieu...

Until next time...

Monday, May 02, 2005

Jumping penguins love diversity like their serfs

This is probably going to be like me walking wilfully in front of the loaded cannons of both the left and right, but hey, what the hell. Without further ado...

My two bobs' worth on Darp's current battle
For the uneducated:

During a debate over SMH web diarist Margo Kingston, a mysterious commenter called Habib posted a picture of a Maori tribesman, labeling it as a picture of popular leftie Mat Henderson-Hau (Darp). Darp took great offence at this, and made it known to commenters and readers of his blog, sparking a clash of right and left wits which has been at times heated and at times all a bit silly.

For my part, I agree and disagree with Darp's crusade on a few points. I can see how one would take offence at a picture like the one Habib (later revealed to be Paul from this blog) posted, but I just think there are more important things the blogosphere could be arguing about.

I see blogging as a means of posting one's opinion on the big issues, even if those issues are construed yourself. I refer in particular to Darp's other crusade on the Australian and New Zealand neo-Nazi movements - this based on what Darp saw as a potential negative influence in Australian society. Now the neo-Nazi movement, great, super, with you all the way. And let the righties have their say too - the more the merrier, as long as all discussion is constructive. But I just think that this argument is a little below Darp's standards. Now there may be some outside issue that I'm not seeing here - something Darp's bottled up that's coming to the surface, perhaps. But I think that blogging should be above petty squabbles.

And for the record, my full name is Daniel William Morrison Binns, I am 17 years old, and live in Windsor in Western Sydney. I am a proud and practising Anglican with predominantly left-thinking ideals. My heritage is mainly British, with some Scottish, Irish and German in there too. I hold myself fully accountable for everything published within the confines of this blog.

Okay, here's where I'll probably get burned. I'm not going to name names, specifically, but I will be quoting from a comments thread from Paul's blog (Paul/Habib mentioned above). First off, this from one commenter:

Darps crusade againt the supposed far-right is one big exercise in stereotyping white Australians and Kiwis.All those lefties involved in creating the spoof sites and commenting on his site cant go two seconds without mentioning stereotypes about ‘rednecks’,'bogans’,'anglo scum’ and all the deficient things about evil whiteys culture that need to be remedied through multiculturalism.

Offended? Pffft hypocrites.

For one, Darp isn't crusading against all far-righties. He's made it clear several times that he respects many right-thinkers. The far-rights he's going against for their part, have made it clear that they hold NAZI IDEALS!!! I, myself, also have to say that I've come across several righties who I think make some very good arguments. But to call all lefties stereotypers? I hate to fire one back but I've made mention several times of certain righties using vast generalisations to compartmentalise lefties. The fact is that no one person can be said to completely 100% typify any one societal archetype. Archetypes, in my opinion, exist as social constructs that people can pick and choose from. Archetypes and stereotypes are society's way of providing epitomist examples of very strict and delineated characteristics. Too often people - who I myself am tempted to compartmentalise - use archetypes and stereotypes to take potshots at others who they believe typify those characteristics.

And for Christ' sake, this is blogging we're talking about. If you feel very passionate on a valid issue, yes, it's okay to get fired up, but there are always going to be people around (I am one of them) that don't take everything all that seriously. When it all boils down, it's all just a bit silly. But hey, I keep blogging away, blissfully very aware that some may read my words, disagree, maybe even take offence, but I willingly invite them to put down their comments for me to respond to.

The world is full of people (almost 6.52 billion and growing, according to this site...very interesting), all with different perspectives and opinions on millions of issues. Let's focus on the ones that are worth debating constructively and positively, eh?

Until next time...

Your frying dish is proportional to the carpet bag

Prepare for a cynical post, folks. Forgive me: it's 12:36AM and I am unable to sleep. Far too much coffee for Binnsy, but hey, coffee's coffee, and when it's there I have to drink it, and drink it I will.

Sensationalised Over-Hyped Bullcrap Over At Last
No, I'm not talking about the life of Rene Rivkin. I refer instead to that pinnacle and paramount pariah parade that is the TV Week Logie Awards. I watched about an hour and a half of this crude and disturbingly repulsive so-called 'night of nights' of Australian television - and was appalled. Absolutely revolted.

It was a chance for television personalities of all networks to come together and spread their own opinions on everything from the tsunami to John Howard to terrorism and the war in Iraq. What the fuck happened to the TV in this equation?! This would have to be the epitomist example of four hours of useless television (yes, the word 'epitomist' now has its own dedicated post). Why not just do what the Fuglies do: ask people to vote on the net, then publish the results a few months later. It's simple because all the vote-counting is done for you and it takes no time at all to put up the results. Give it a bit of minor radio coverage, ask a few celebs what they reckon, done. Get ready for next year. No 'red/white/fluorescent orange carpet special' with Richard "Is My Bone-Coloured Hair Perfect?" Wilkins and no demented 'vote for your fave dress' SMS voting bullshit.

All the above taken into consideration, but independently of my thoughts on the ceremony alone, I must say I'm fairly happy with the winners. Hearty congratulations to the team from The Chaser Decides. It's about time they got the recognition they deserved. Commendations also to John Wood, winner of the Silver Logie and one of the most under-appreciated actors on Australian television (Note I did not mention dancing at all in that sentence. Let's just gloss over that part of his career, shall we?).

How the fuck did the NRL Footy Show win best sports program? In the same way, how did The O.C. (The Obstreperous Crap-fest) win best overseas show when it was up against C.S.I.? Grrr...

Anyhoo. At least that's over for another year. Failing the implementation of my Logies.com idea above, why not just give Rove a gold logie every year and be done with it?

Costello cleaves the Coalition in twain
And then there were three...

The greatest picture taken in the green room...ever

So poor lil' Pete's chucking a hissyfit. And with the budget next week, tsk tsk. Best keep your eye on the ball and not let Johnny get away with another term. No, Pete, wrong ball. You're meant to look after the budget. That's it. Leave national concerns to the people qualified to make the right decisions. You poonce.

The 'unprovoked missile from Athens' has certainly trifled Mr Costello. It makes me wonder yet again just whose side the Treasurer is on. Only a year ago it appeared that Mr Howard's little terrier was a little perturbed to be settling in as right-hand man, when clearly he wanted to be the other parts of the body as well.

From the article linked to above:

"There is a very big message to the Liberal Party," he [Costello] said, "which is where the leadership works together and where the leadership is properly organised with the interests of the members and where instability is avoided and where people in good faith are able to deal with each other; that's when the Liberal Party is successful."

The 'interests of the members", eh? I don't hear anyone else in the party, apart from the PM himself, voicing their opinions on your antics over the past day and a half, Pete. Who knows, maybe they don't like you or Mr Howard. Although, with the alternative it might just be worth sticking with the Coalition for another year. Or hey, let's be daring. Bring in the Greens or the Democrats - someone who's willing to not just talk about but actually make some changes to this country. And decent changes too. Oh, and the Liberal party's leadership will work "where instability is avoided". Considering that Costello's supporters are giving pretty clear threats to the Howard administration (excluding the treasury, naturally), this fits in pretty nicely with Pete's little plan. Perhaps it's Mutiny on the S.S. Liberal on the Bicameral Parliamentary Seas... YARR!

Oh, I could have some fun with this.

Until next time...

Sunday, May 01, 2005

200 Fiends, 8mm Led Around by the Nose

Whoa. Slept in until 12:30pm today. Whoa. Kinda cool though. In a way.

The many faces of Melbourne Demons coach Neale Daniher


Optimistic


Concerned


Roused


Angry


Pensive


Reflective


Just won the Premiership

Hehe. Photos courtesy of The Age.

I whacked a new counter over in the sidebar, which should be good. Tracks search keywords - hehe, fun fun.

It struck me yesterday how long it's been since I posted some William Blake here. Gord it would've been last November or some such? (I was stunned to glance over at the archives and see I've been blogging solidly for over six months...top effort, I thought). But anyhoo, seeing as there's a lack of anything decent to post for the moment, here's some Blake to keep you amused...

The Voice of the Ancient Bard
Youth of delight, come hither,
And see the opening morn,
Image of truth new born.
Doubt is fled, & clouds of reason,
Dark disputes & artful teazing.
Folly is an endless maze,
Tangled roots perplex her ways:
How many have fallen there!
They stumble all night over bones of the dead,
And feel they know not what but care,
And wish to lead others when they should be led.

Perhaps all modern world leaders should read William Blake...

Until next time...