Culinary chopstick-wielding acrobats seek the eternal tranquility of the mended garden

Well, back once more I am from the beach.

I must say that it was a nice little getaway and a good chance to spend time with the folks. It was also a really good way to avoid schoolies.

And as promised, I kept a little diary of the journey, though I slacked off on the last night and didn't write anything. But I'll fill you in when we get to that point. So here goes...

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Preparation - Nov 24, 5:42pm
I hate packing. Washed car. Burnt holiday CD, packed DVD's, Xbox. Still have to pack clothes. Off to piano at 6:30 then mass prep. No broomball tonight, so don't get to see J & L before I leave :(. Not to worry. Need to be up early anyway. More later. Toodles!

Day 1 - Nov 25
Away 8:30 after fuel.
All packed and set.
Biggest dilemma was which book to take.
I have a disappointingly insatiable craving for a Sausage McMuffin and a hash brown :(.

Day 1 - Nov 25, 10:34
Stopped at servo just past Wyong turnoff and I got my muffin and hash brown :D. Nice latte too. Also got phone reception so smessed important ppl.

Day 1 - Nov 25, 12:34pm
Music played so far:
- My holiday CD
- Ray Charles
- Monty Python
- Ray Hadley
First three were good. Last is currently playing and is making me want to curl up and die sleep.
Car trip is boooring.
Slept for about an hour.

Day 1 - Nov 25, 11:31pm
Got to Port Macquarie around 2pm, found accom., checked in.
Unpacked, then went into town for grocery shopping. I got a hair cut, bought a birthday present for L, got icecream and came home. Had a cuppa and watched Ep. 1 of Long Way Round. Then got ready and went in search of the Port Panthers Club. Massive place. Bad bruschetta, lovely beer-battered fish, chips and salad. Had a beer (first in a while) before my first foray into the 'casino'. Lost $13 on pokies but won $20 in blackjack :D. Watched Mum lose $30 on the pokies then came home around 9pm. Had icecream and watched Ep. 2 and half Ep. 3 of Long Way Round.
Started raining about 6pm, stopped about 10pm. So much for sunny Port Macquarie, eh? Now to sleep...

Day 2 - 11:25pm
Up at 9:15. Had breakfast (cereal with fruit) and coffee. About 11:20am, headed into Wauchope and to Timbertown - a reconstruction of an 1800's Australian township with school, church, shops, tavern, animals, steam train, bullocks, etc. Twas quite enjoyable. Loved the old newspaper presses. Came home and sun was out so went for a swim in pool for about half an hour. Had a shower, then we went round the corner to the "Pasta Place" for tea. I had tortellini with pesto-napolitana sauce and it was delicious. Most enjoyable.
We then came home and watched Keeping the Faith over icecream, cuppas and chocolate. And now, to bed! Adios!

Day 3 - 1:43pm
Slept in this morning. Woke up at about 10:10. Had a massive breakfast - scrambled eggs, fried tomato, bacon and toast. Makes you wonder what the poor people are doing, really. Then we watched a bit more of Long Way Round, then I flicked over and watched the end hour and a half of Laws of Attraction on pay TV.
Now, after a shower, we're all just sitting around doing not much, which is most agreeable.
Particularly now it's storming. How fun.

Day 3 - 8:58pm
Well, I've just had a day of doing nothing. We ended up just sitting round all day watching Episodes 3-10 of Long Way Round. A whole TV series in a day.
We then got pizza and have just been bumming around. It's great. Anyway, I'm off again, not to sleep, but to do more nothing.

---

Thus ends the 'official' journal, or that which was written on the trip.

On Monday, November 28, we went to Billabong Koala Park, and saw monkeys, wombats, lizards, birds, snakes, everything. It was very cool. We then played a round of minigolf, in which I thrashed my mum and stepdad quite comprehensively. We then had lunch and went to a rainforest centre where you can walk around a boardwalk for 2km taking in the forest, and they had stuffed animals and displays and such. Tranquil much.

Anyhoo, a most enjoyable trip.

Took heaps of photos - they'll be up as soon as I could be bothered getting them organised.

Until next time...

Slashing the incoherent lobster with a sturgeon

Well, the bad news is that I'm going on holidays until Tuesday.

And the good news is that I'm going on holidays until Tuesday.

Yes, nothing but sun, sand and sea for me.

However, despite which of the above news items you liked or disliked the most, I'll be keeping a concise record of everything that happens while I'm up north, which shall be transcribed here at the Hovel, in its entirety, upon my safe and speedy return. Expect tales of near-escapes, thrilling car chases, dirty laundry, shifty undertakers and the gripping drama of room service politics. Carnal, bloody and unnatural acts may occur, as also may, accidental judgements - "I should've had the pork" - and casual slaughters - "I told you I wanted to go to the beach".

How fun. Tune in to the Hovel around Tuesday night Australian Eastern Daylight Savings Time to have the read of your life.

Until next time...

Believe the emboldened mint when she says harken to the fires from whence you dredged the dumpling

It's the silly season again.

Everywhere you look there's baubles and crackers and snowmen and ridiculous old men in red suits.

Bah humbug.

For mine, the Christmas season doesn't start until December 1, which is when my family put up the tree and deck the halls and so on and so forth. Until such time as that, it is not Christmas. It is just ridiculous.

Christmas is silly, really. Season's greetings!

Some time over the next few weeks I'll also be compiling this year's edition of the Binnsy's Hovel People of the Year Awards. Last year's awards were a fizzling success, and this year they'll be smaller and worse than ever, as opposed to bigger and better.

See, here at the Hovel, much like over at the Chaser, I strive to find the worst in what is an overly materialistic and pseudo-optimistic world. Basically I cut through the crap do the best I can to show you how the world really is, and brainwash you try to make you see things from my point of view.

I'm off to the beach again on Friday. Hurrah! This time I'm heading north. And avoiding Schoolies. Ugh to that.

Until next time...

Monthly errors seem to erode the fraternity's nature and conscience of personal interplanetary travel

Well, I think I can say I've well and truly had my fix of exams. I had my Grade 2 Piano exam at 11:48 this morning, and got an A!

My little report thingo said:

Well done, Dan. A generally impressive exam in which you showed excellent preparation and above all a brief and engaging sense of stule and plenty of performance flair.

And apparently I interpreted Star Wars well. Which is all you can ask for, really. Now, next year I'm skipping a grade and heading on with Grade 4. Hoo hah!

Until next time...

Moderation in transition only accounts for half the population's anecdotal responses

Yesterday I was helping out at a stall at the Sydney Motorcycle Show at Homebush Bay. We arrived in time for me to be privileged enough to see Charley Boorman speak live about his 2004 motorcycle trip from London to New York with actor Ewan McGregor. I also purchased the DVD and was able to meet and talk with Charley after he spoke. He also was kind enough to personally sign it for me.

I've since watched four episodes of Long Way Round and have been rather oddly affected by it. I don't think I've ever gotten into what is essentially a travel documentary as much as I have with this one - perhaps with the exception of Michael Palin's brilliant Himalaya. I find myself experiencing every up and down, every bump and pothole. It really is very odd. But brilliant at the same time.

Perhaps it comes with actually meeting the person up there on the screen in front of you. Maybe that ten-minute conversation with Charley let me into what he felt and experienced on the trip. It's very weird, this brain thing.

I also got to wander round the show taking random photos. Many of them can be seen via the Blue Thunder DownUnder web site, but I've whacked up a gallery in the Photo Hut specially for visitors to the Hovel. Aren't you lucky?

Until next time...

Eternity is only what the man says to the pig during transportation of the motherland

Check out my nifty new artwork I made:

Dammit I'm good. Picasso eat your heart out. To see it being painted live (Flash required, folks), check out this link. To make your own nifty painting, though it could never be as good as mine (I am so modest), go here.

Knock yourself out.

Until next time...

In testing the letter, we must be sure of its fraudulent natural pine trees

Well, what a weekend/Monday. On Saturday afternoon I went to see this here. Absolutely spot-on and brilliantly executed. If it ever runs again you all could do a lot worse than see it.

Sunday was good, a nice quiet day with friends.

Then yesterday I went to see Little Fish in the city. At times I found it to be incredibly intense; the combination of washy music and visuals, as well as the drug use and violence a little too much, however it was a brilliantly constructed film, and I'd recommend it for that alone. Despite its darkness, the film has produced memorable performances from, among others, Cate Blanchett, Noni Hazlehurst and Hugo Weaving.

In other news, my little nation is flying high. And the forums have been keeping me off the streets hobby-wise. Whenever something momentous happens it's usually documented soon after on the Bynzekistan NSwiki page.

This weekend sees me off to my Year 12 Formal on Friday night, a friend's birthday party on Saturday night and the Sydney Motorcycle Show on Sunday to help out with a stall for the day. Then Monday sees me tackle my Second Grade piano exam. So just when I thought things could slow down, life chucks a volley of stuff at me. Hurrah for life. :S

Until next time...

Truth is only a by-product of ignorant weevils and their mindgames

Binnsy back from beach. Binnsy thought beach was good. Binnsy wants to go back to beach. Binnsy now exceedingly bored.

It's amazing what you miss out on when you head off for a while and don't read the papers. The whole nationwide terrorist crackdown and arrests thing from the other day was news to me this morning. In a really weird way I couldn't really give a damn. I just want to go back to the beach.

Until next time...

Table planners are the true sense of worth in an otherwise worthless world

You've got to wonder how much of a gamble Trevor Hohns and his cronies were making when they signed Mike Hussey up for the current Australian test side. Admittedly Hussey's performance with the Western Warriors has been nothing short of incredible, with a strike rate of around 95, the highest in the Australian domestic competition.

But you really do have to wonder about his capability when he scores 1 and 29 in his respective innings. And his probable reason for his inclusion was his supposed skill with the bat.

My personal decision would be to include both Hussey brothers, Michael and David, in the limited overs side, and reserve the upper order test slots for someone like Michael Bevan or Justin Langer - a specialised player who's not too bad in the field. Bevan would be a particularly good choice given his skill with the ball also. I wouldn't even mind seeing Andrew Symonds in test mode. Would make for very interesting viewing.

On the other hand, a brilliant few overs this morning by Nathan Bracken. Top effort, that, especially the LBW in his double wicket over. Absolutely plumb.

---

You've got to wonder how many straws the Australian government can clutch at with their new counter-terrorism laws. Having experienced first-hand bag and body searches, as well as the Victorian Government's near-radical protection of public transport services, the measures seem near-superfluous.

Let's be honest here. If a terrorist really wants to cause mass havoc, death and destruction, no amount of government prevention or threat of subsequent intervention will be able to stop it. What governments sometimes seem to forget is that most of these people are smart. They have a grasp of technology, world events, politics and the economy, and of how these can all be attacked or manipulated to ensure the worst conceivable end result.

The reason for this little comment is this article in today's SMH. It says of a new law rushed through the Senate on Thursday:

...people can be charged even if they are only considering carrying out a terrorist act, but have not yet decided when or where.

With all due respect, short of implanting mind monitoring devices in every Australian citizen's head, how is the government going to know if someone's 'considering' being a terrorist for a day? Phone taps and other conventional surveillance techniques are all well and good, but again, if a terrorist really wants to attack somewhere, he's going to cover his tracks.

It's all rather pointless really.

I really do admire the government taking steps, though. It really is a case of damned-if-you-do, damned-if-you-don't.

But just in case, don't touch anything, look at anything or speak ever again. It goes against subclause 4.3.2.6B of Australia's Big Book of Anti-Terror Legislation, 2005 Edition.

I just hope Free Speech wasn't affected. If I stop blogging for an extended period of time, I'm probably being held on suspicion of eating something I wasn't supposed to.

Until next time...

Trumped again, he of repudiation and the status quotient

Interesting phenomena of the universe as noted by Binnsy, Item 1: How absolutely brilliant a different type of toothpaste tastes the very first time you use it.

New photos up here.

Until next time...

Grandiose thoughts accompanied the whale as he journeyed 'cross the minds of the women of Angelioupe

Oh. I'm sorry. Just in case you didn't hear me when I screamed it the first time.

MY HSC IS OVER. NO MORE EXAMS FOR ME. NO MORE REMEMBERING RIDICULOUS QUOTES OR FORMULAE OR NAMES OR DATES. NO MORE PHYSICS OR MATHS. EVER. EVER EVER.

Just on the off-chance you didn't pick it up, I today completed my last HSC exam. 'Twas Physics. And 'twas crap. But hey. It's OVER. Never again. No more HSC. Ever. Never ever. And now I type randomly with glee:

Gdjashfkdjkssghasd sdhfjkds hakd fhds;a fds[]g ftwoap ][ttuero[ gtudfsgkj dfhgl;sk ou3 907 2379 030 49u90 srjkla jaspjos rai0-df=9 fsdi0 dfj opjk kd dhjgk.

I think I'm done.

Other than that there's very little news. On the 21st of November I'm off to do my Second Grade piano exams. Piano just seems to have always been the one constant in my life - there are other constants, but piano has been there throughout. When I sit in front of the piano, all that exists in my world is music and myself. For my exams I'll be playing the theme from Star Wars, Scott Joplin's The Entertainer and a Menuet. Should be good.

Well, I'm off to get some well-earned rest. Hope all you reader folk are well and I'll post some time soon.

Until next time...

Freemasons eat pudding unabashedly

I was amused slightly when I saw this as a news item on Wikipedia this morning...

The U.S. Senate enters a rare closed session to discuss ... intelligence in the Iraq disarmament crisis.

Yes. Intelligence. Riiight.

Until next time...

Umbrellas can only hide the insignificance of the poster's plight

Don't mind my ramblings lastnight. But it's true. Lefty did help.

In a completely random move, I'm going to attack and attempt to dissect or address a number of the search keywords that have led people to the Hovel through G©®g£e, M$N or ¥ahoo. Well, the last 13 anyway. Because that's all I have. Here goes...

"colin powell" +"13 rules" +leadership
Colin Powell, former US Secretary of State, concocted thirteen rules for living life over the course of his career. I referenced them early on in my time at the new Hovel, though I can't seem to locate the post. Anyway, here are Colin's 13 rules. I found them most helpful at times.

1. It ain't as bad as you think. It will look better in the morning.
2. Get mad, then get over it.
3. Avoid having your ego so close to your position that when your position falls, your ego falls with it.
4. It can be done!
5. Be careful what you choose. You may get it.
6. Don't let adverse facts stand in the way of a good decision.
7. You can't make someone else's choices. You shouldn't let someone else make yours.
8. Check small things.
9. Share credit.
10. Remain calm. Be kind.
11. Have a vision. Be demanding.
12. Don't take the counsel of your fears or naysayers.
13. Perpetual optimism is a force multiplier.

http://binnsyshovel.blogspot.com
This one's pretty self-explanatory, though why you would search the web for the URL rather than just go straight to the page is a mystery to me. Never mind, it got me another hit, after all.

binnsyshovel.blogspot.com
Again much like above.

hazem el masri information
I'm pretty sure this one found me because of my post in response to Richard Hinds' article in the SMH about the rift between AFL and Rugby League. Hinds mentioned that he wouldn't mind seeing el Mazri in a forward pocket. Alas I don't have much information on the man himself. I suggest starting at the official NRL site and working your way down from there.

link:http://home.epix.net/~mhryvnak/theyfightcrime.html
This is a link check search - checking out who links to a particular page, in this case me linking to the hilarious little generator, They Fight Crime!

Just now I generated this:

He's a lonely gay vampire hunter in a wheelchair. She's a hard-bitten red-headed lawyer with someone else's memories. They fight crime!

Ah, such fun.

where did the binns family come from
A straight-out question, for a change! In the case of my family, we come from England, Ireland, Wales, Scotland and Germany. In England, specifically, the Binns family came from Lincolnshire, Wiltshire and Gloucestershire. There were a bunch of us from the Orkney Islands in Scotland, and Ratzenburg and Hamburg in Germany.

In random trivia, my ancestors Joseph Lanham (1760-1835), Ann Lanham (1794-?), Joseph Lanham Snr. (1725-1784), Margaret Godwin (?-1784), Grace Lanham (1701-1754), John Lanham (?-1729) and Mary Ruddell (1664-?) all came from or ended up in Market Lavington, Wiltshire, England, which is the setting for the short story I wrote for English Extension II this year.

melbourne gay, bebo.com
Two distinct possibilities - you think Melbourne is gay, and you're looking for people on bebo who think similarly to you. Or, you're looking for gay people in Melbourne on bebo. Either way, good for you. No really. And bebo is crap. Useless.

And I'm a little scared that search led people here.

Gypsy pic
Mmmk. I can do that. Here:

retina dip
Again, no idea how this one worked, but I'm pretty sure my random post subjects may have been a large contributing factor. But anyway, a quick search on Google told me that the fovea is a dip in the retina directly opposite the lens, which is densely packed with cone cells, and that retinal dysplasia occurs when the two primitive layers of the retina do not form properly together. What fun.

sexy necked
Riiiight. My link to Modi's blog may have helped here.

Andrew Denton Shaun Micallef
Possibly two of the greatest Australian talents in history. Both incredibly intelligent and ridiculous in equal measure. If you're after more information you could check out Shaun Micallef's Online World Around Him, Shaun's page on the Vega FM Melbourne site, Andrew Denton's Enough Rope page, or his entry on Wikipedia.

As for how that led people here, I mention them both all the time, I have long been a fan of Shaun, I watch Enough Rope all the time and I link to Shaun's page in the sidebar. Pick one.

obi wan's of xml FS2004
This one's got me stumped, but let's break it down, shall we?

Obi-Wan Kenobi is a character featuring in all six Star Wars films. XML is, according to its Wikipedia entry, 'a W3C-recommended general-purpose markup language for creating special-purpose markup languages. It is a simplified subset of SGML, capable of describing many different kinds of data. Its primary purpose is to facilitate the sharing of data across different systems, particularly systems connected via the Internet.' Pretty self-explanatory, really. And then 'FS2004' presumably refers to Microsoft's award-winning computer software Flight Simulator 2004.

As to putting the puzzle together, 'obi wan's of xml' would break down to 'obi wan is of xml', meaning that the character Obi-Wan Kenobi originated from the computer language XML. And then perhaps the specific code from whence Obi-Wan came is located within Flight Simulator 2004. Oh, the plot thickens.

Do you think I've cracked it?

As to how that led people to the Hovel, I haven't the foggiest.

origins of the name makybe diva
Ah, now this I can help you with, because I found it out yesterday myself.

The horse's name is a combination of the first two letters of the names of five women who work in the tuna factory run by the horse's owner, Tony Santic. The names were Maureen, Kylie, Belinda, Diane and Vanessa.

And that's it... 13 keywords broken down. What fun!

Until next time...

Yonder are the wonders of the status bar and his good frenchman

Ok. Since my last post I have had an absolute crapper of a time. My mind's been doing somersaults and backflips and I've been over and under and up and down and such. No reasons. No rhyme. Just has.

In a very random sequence of events, two people have saved me from sanity. The first is a friend who will remain unnamed, in respect. The second, however, is a most unlikely chap by the name of MrLefty. I hadn't visited this chap's blog for a good while. And I'm glad I did tonight. I smiled and laughed and chuckled and was cynical and was intrigued all at once for the first time in a while.

Thank you, MrLefty. I salute you.

And if my readers get a chance, read his last couple of posts. Hilarious. Touching. Insightful.

Bloggers acknowledge each other all the time, but it's usually only as a formality - credit for a borrowed link, quote or idea. I don't think we acknowledge each other as people enough. In this case, a simple thank you for brightening my day. It could be an indepth analysis of why a post was so good. It could be a post or comment about your experience of a particular post - what you were doing when you read it and why it was so special, funny, interesting to you. I don't know. Am I making sense?

I'm just trying this idea on for size. Try it out yourself and tell me what you think. Let's make a happier, friendlier blogosphere.

Until next time...

Postmen congregate in vast underwater sanctuaries of helplessness

Hello to the one person reading my blog via FeedBurner! I salute you!

Well, Ancient History done. 6 down, 1 to go. Oh, Lord. It'll be over soon.

And the Diva's done it again. Three in a row. Great stuff. I lost all my money. Grrr. Never mind.

Happy All Hallowes for yesterday! In celebration I wrote a super-short story that I thought was rather nifty and appropriate... Enjoy...

I turn. The room is dark, cold. I feel a shiver running down my back.

I turn. Again. There is nothing. A drip. Drip. Drip. Some long-forgotten tap left abandoned decades
before.

I see a light. A sliver of light under a doorway. I move forward. And freeze. Voices. Outside. Horrible, raspy voices. The kind you hear in cliched horror movies.

'What shall we do, dear friend?' hisses one.

'I know not,' says another.

This is too bizarre. People don't really talk like that. Do they?

'We could tie her up, roast her,' the first snaky voice continues.

'Yes, and then cut off her arms.'

'Her arms... how tasty...'

'Yes...'

Oh no, I think. This can't be happening. Not to me. How did I get here? What the hell am I doing in some subterranean chamber with two madmen discussing my fate?

For a second I consider screaming for help. No. That would never work. The two creeps outside would be digesting my limbs before anyone could scramble to assist me.

'Well, shall we get going?'

'We shall...'

Oh God. They're coming. Footsteps. Closer. Closer. A final footfall. The door handle turns. The light is blinding...

My mother's face.

'Sweetie, where did you leave the chicken when you brought the groceries in?'

'Just out on the bench, Mum.'

'Thanks!'

As I get up I consider making the long bed that sits in the corner of my subterranean chamber... Perhaps not. It'll still be there in the morning...

Mwhoahahahahaha.

Until next time...